In the case of nearly all manner in the universe, the exact opposite of an object is the lack of existence of that object; for example, if a chair exists, then somewhere a chair does not exist. This preserves the balance of nature across the universe. Potatoes, however, are different in that God did not originally intend to create a food as useful, delicious and customizable as the modest potato. Nonetheless, due to a rounding error by the Department of Agriculture in Heaven, potatoes were created and gifted to the people of Earth. Thinking quickly, God decided that in this instance the opposite of an object would have to be a physical manifestation of fewer than none of that object. The negative potato was devised as a way of keeping the universe balanced, and it is said that for every po
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