| abstract | - Brothers, Image:Elf strike.gif Today we take action! Today we stand together, shoulder to shoulder in opposition to our exploitation. Together we put an end to the abuse that blights our lives and the lives of our children. Today we say "Fair pay for elves and reindeer or Christmas is cancelled." For centuries we worked in partnership with Father Christmas, making and delivering toys to the children of Europe. Our ancestors gloried in their woodworking skills, turning out model soldiers and spinning tops, rocking horses and Wendy houses while our wives knitted and stitched rag-dolls and cuddly toys. But no more. Father Christmas sold out to Ho-Ho Holdings Plc in 1954 and we were told that our working conditions would be protected. Indeed, our new boss - this so called Santa - encouraged us to unionise. But comrades, we threw away that advantage by splitting into 15 different trade associations that allowed Ho-Ho Holdings to divide and rule. Today, however, the last two of those mighty organisations come together. No longer will Santa be able to look down his nose at the Association of Reindeer & Santa's Elves, or sniff at the Toy Workers And Trainee Sleigh-pullers - for today we unite to create a union that cannot be ignored. The management must learn that our new union, Santa's Helpers In Toyland, should not be toyed with. We demand change or Rudolf and his fellow reindeer will simply graze the tundra while we elves take up alternative employment helping shoe-makers finish their work overnight, or spinning straw into gold in return for first-born sons. Brothers, our cause is just - so, before I present them to Satan Santa, let me enumerate our demands:
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