rdfs:comment | - It was pretty good. There are a couple needed things, but it isn't bad at all. First off, humor: It was pretty funny. You could add a couple more jokes, but it was adequate. I liked your concept, although it needs expanding. The quotes are alright, although I think you need a quote from Grandpa himself. Make a really, really long, pointless quote. For example, I would have liked a lot of the article to follow this rambling mess. Maybe you can have an interview with Grandpa, and use the ADD article for inspiration perhaps. It's a good start. Good luck! 06:22, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
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abstract | - It was pretty good. There are a couple needed things, but it isn't bad at all. First off, humor: It was pretty funny. You could add a couple more jokes, but it was adequate. I liked your concept, although it needs expanding. The quotes are alright, although I think you need a quote from Grandpa himself. Make a really, really long, pointless quote. For example, “So then, as I was under fire by 17 germans, and I had to clean out my rifle because I got mud in it, I thought of my home, back in the states. We had a nice, big house, although it didn't have any new fangled sterios or refrigeraters or upods, or whatever you call 'em. And I had to walk 15 miles to school through 15 feet of snow, but that I had no shoes because of that darn Depression. The Depression was a bad, bad thing. Us kids had nothing to do, and there weren't no dag-nab televisions! Before I caught that big fish and learned to play poker, I was fixing up all kinds of machines!” ~ Grandpa on being asked where the bathroom was when you visited. I would have liked a lot of the article to follow this rambling mess. Maybe you can have an interview with Grandpa, and use the ADD article for inspiration perhaps. There are also some errors, both spelling and grammer. Please double check such lines as He didn't slack off, because he had to help his paPa support his Ma and his sixteen brothers and sisters. This new version flows a little better, like when I had to fix the plumbing, and there was no intranet or computer machines to fix it for me, and the plumber only spoke italian. It's a good start. Good luck! 06:22, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
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