| rdfs:comment | - The elephants once faced the threat of extinction. Ironically, this was a result of efforts by environmentalists and other liberals to "protect" these noble beasts. In the last six months, a tremendous comeback has been made, largely because of George W. Bush's efforts to encourage elephants to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." The population of elephants has tripled in size from January to June during 2006 - but environmentalists will not have you believe this. However, truthiness and wikiality activist Stephen Colbert has shown that the elephant population has actually tripled. Growth in elephant population was achieved thanks to Colbert fathering over 1,000 elephant pups. It is unknown how this was accomplished, but it seems likely that a special, as-yet unannounced elephant ver
|
| abstract | - The elephants once faced the threat of extinction. Ironically, this was a result of efforts by environmentalists and other liberals to "protect" these noble beasts. In the last six months, a tremendous comeback has been made, largely because of George W. Bush's efforts to encourage elephants to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." The population of elephants has tripled in size from January to June during 2006 - but environmentalists will not have you believe this. However, truthiness and wikiality activist Stephen Colbert has shown that the elephant population has actually tripled. Growth in elephant population was achieved thanks to Colbert fathering over 1,000 elephant pups. It is unknown how this was accomplished, but it seems likely that a special, as-yet unannounced elephant version of his popular Formula 402 was involved. For someone new to the business of elephant relations, it will be initially only possible to tell which continent an elephant is from by listening for an accent or telltale stereotype mannerisms. As one gains experience, he or she will find that, in fact, they are all quite different. While the Asian and Indian elephants are strictly herbivores, its African relative is a beastly killer who feasts on the weaker African creatures. The American elephant is a different beast entirely, and is actually much more exciting and special than a regular elephant is.
|
