| abstract | - The town was rebuilt in 1974, much to the amusement of The Queen. Town planning officials spent 3 hours in a meeting to decide on a name for the proposed indoor swimming pool before deciding on "Woking Indoor Swimming Pool". In 1991, Centrepiece shopping and arts centre "The Peacocks" or, more formally, "The Cocks" was designed with a ring road next to it (known as the "Cock Ring") so that car drivers could avoid going into Woking at all. It is also aimed at keeping the residents in Woking confined to this area so they are never allowed into the outside world Ever since the great doughnut loss of 1457, Woking's elderly residents have been found killing local 11 year olds and making their meat into more doughnuts for sale. They sell them under the brand name of Kid-Nuts. Since then, the town has begun to engage in many local traditions, primarily the application of traffic laws. Woking has 18 car parks, each of which has an individual colour. This allows 'tourist morons' (aka tourons) to locate their cars more easily. Cars left longer than 43 minutes are typically stolen and/or vandalised with spray-on deoderant. 2005's Smash Hit summer blockbuster Devil's Game was filmed in and around the surrounding areas of Woking. Its follow up, 2006's Devil's Game 2 was also filmed in the surrounding areas, and in the ghetto of Goldsworth Park. The new "lightbox" built in Woking is confirmed as the first plane speed camera. It is disguised as an art gallery/museum in the shape of a giant yellow speed camera. So far it has caught about three 747s doing more than 40mph, this is bad as the plane should be doing 90 or something. The lightbox aims to prevent 747s crashing into the surrounding towns of Maybury (or Mayburystan) and the ghetto of Goldsworth park. In 2012 Woking will be hosting the Olympics where we will see competitors taking part in the much loved game of "trolley" where they wheel locals around the peacocks centre in trolleys before hurling them into the canal from Brewery Road bridge. When asked about what he thinks of the Olympics coming to Woking, the mayor simply shook his head and then fell asleep.
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