Hcomment | - Hey, Ilovecheeseandpenis. Let me take this one section by section.
*Quotes: The first quote is amusing. For a disembodied head to exclaim "I AIN'T GOT NO BODY!" makes me chuckle. The second quote is not good. We don't yet have any reason to believe that Mario's head is menacing, let alone that it's an understatement to say so, and name-checking the Uncyclopedia meme "Captain Understatement" seems like a pointless attempt to ride the coattails of an in-joke.
*Lede: Okay, Mario's head is annoying and pointless. That's funny. It's also "evil"? That's not very funny. Cajek, bless his soul, used to say that "OMG HE'S EVIIILLL" was the worst possible way to write an Uncyclopedia article. I'm inclined to agree. The sentence "He goes berserk whenever people refuse to give him a computer," out of context, is just not funny. I don't know if it's referring to anything or if it's just random words.
*Early Life: Except for the joke about Mario's head exclaiming "Press the Start Button to play," this section needs to go away. It just isn't funny to bring King Harkanian, a character from a totally different franchise, into this. And why explain how Mario lost his head? Some things are funnier if you leave them unexplained.
*Mario Teaches Typing: This section isn't bad, but it's really a missed opportunity. Surely there's more humor in the idea that Mario's Head, having become somehow disconnected from his body, decided his first priority would be to teach children to type. Children whose parents gave shitty Christmas gifts. Run with it, man! Mock Mario Teaches Typing! Isn't it begging for it?
*Destruction of Hyrule: This is really, really lame. I'm sorry, but this is so unfunny that it taints the rest of the article. Why are you doing "videogame mashup zaniness"? It's been done a million times, and it hasn't been funny even once.
*Super Mario 64: I don't know if you can really mutate Mario's face with the cursor. I haven't played this title. That sounds more like MarioPaint to me, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, this joke may need more explanation for the non-Mario-fanboys out there. Similarly, I'm not sure if "taking bites of their snouts" is related to the game or if it's just random shit thrown in for no reason.
*Super Mario 64 DS: Ugh. Video game rape? Seriously? That's never funny.
*Death: Put plainly, this ain't funny.
*Powers and Abilities: It's always sort of weird to put a section after "Death." It's also very weird that Mario's Head was referred to in the present tense until "Death" and now it's referred to in the past tense. Was this article supposedly written as the head was dying? Anyway, this is basically a bunch of zany randomness with no connection to reality. It is, unfortunately, stupid and just not funny.
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