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| rdfs:comment | - Soon after, he fought in the trenches of World War 1 as a German private. He acquired the Iron Cross for bravery after having courageously beaten one million British soldiers to death with a massive pink rubber dildo during the battle of the Somme. Sadly, the medal was stolen by the wicked Haitian Adolf Hitler during a wild drinking spree in Amsterdam. Kamprad is the evil Grand Vizier of Sweden, keeping the beautiful but helpless monarch Agatha Christie locked in a high tower while he saves the world for tasteful but economical furnishings.
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| abstract | - Soon after, he fought in the trenches of World War 1 as a German private. He acquired the Iron Cross for bravery after having courageously beaten one million British soldiers to death with a massive pink rubber dildo during the battle of the Somme. Sadly, the medal was stolen by the wicked Haitian Adolf Hitler during a wild drinking spree in Amsterdam. Kamprad is the evil Grand Vizier of Sweden, keeping the beautiful but helpless monarch Agatha Christie locked in a high tower while he saves the world for tasteful but economical furnishings. He committed suicide shortly after founding IKEA. He is thought to have written the only way to destroy IKEA down on a piece of parchment before killing himself; although it is thought that the new shareholders had it destroyed. Many believe it can be killed in the same way as a Wal-Mart, but as of yet no-one has succeeded.
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