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  • Jeremy's Lazy Song/Candace's Alien Lover
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  • Carl: Previously, on "Carl's Pop Song Reviews", YOUR MOM! Ha. Also, on my show, this happened. (Flashback) Carl: Hopefully, his next song will be much better. Jeremy: (singing live) Today, I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed... Carl: WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS A WHITE GUY WITH ACOUSTIC GUITAR SONG! (skips parts) Oh no, (bleep) no (skips parts) (Carl throws a grenade at his piano) COVER! (runs away) Jeremy: Flip to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie... (The screen shows an explosion) Django: Do-do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do... Albert: So fathers, be good to your daughters...
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  • Carl: Previously, on "Carl's Pop Song Reviews", YOUR MOM! Ha. Also, on my show, this happened. (Flashback) Carl: Hopefully, his next song will be much better. Jeremy: (singing live) Today, I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed... Carl: WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS A WHITE GUY WITH ACOUSTIC GUITAR SONG! (skips parts) Oh no, (bleep) no (skips parts) (Carl throws a grenade at his piano) COVER! (runs away) Jeremy: Flip to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie... (The screen shows an explosion) Carl: I throw this term out a lot, but I need to explain what I mean about "white guy with acoustic guitar". (shows a clip of Ferb playing a guitar and singing) Not every guy with an acoustic guitar is bad, but this kind of music just bores me. This means I can't listen to indie rock or many modern country artists, for that matter. Also, resorting to a guitar and singing is LAZY. In my opinion, music is supposed to come from the soul. It's supposed to be about your strong emotions, maybe not loud emotions, but from your heart. Carl: Take a look at "I'm Yours" and "Hey Soul Sister". In "Hey Soul Sister", Jeremy's voice sounds bad, but that's because he's happy to be in love. But in "I'm Yours", Django sounds stupid. Django: Do-do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do... Carl: (mimicking Django) Do-do-do-do-do-do, is that really what being in love sounds like? This is the problem with boys with acoustic guitars singing about love. Take a look at the clumsily written "Hey There Isabella" by Phineas. At least it SOUNDS sincere! But most of the time, songs are written by these douchey frat boys, like this guy. Albert: So fathers, be good to your daughters... Carl: (sarcastically) Yeah, be good to your daughters so Albert can do stuff with them. Carl: Now, that I got that rant out of the way, let me talk about "The Lazy Song". Jeremy: Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed, don't feel like picking up the phone, so leave a message at the tone, cause today I don't feel like doing anything... Carl: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! This, indeed, IS a lazy song. Either Jeremy put no effort into this, or he put a bunch of effort by pretending that he put no effort into this. The monkeys in the music video are not funny at all. While I'm usually impressed by Jeremy's production, I'm not impressed by the production of this song. It has this tired-(bleep) guitar strumming and some extremely ANNOYING whistling. (a clip of people whistling starts playing) Carl: Let's listen to more of these lyrics. Jeremy: I'm gonna kick my feet my feet up and stare at the fan, turn the TV on, throw my hands in my pants, nobody's gonna tell me I can't... Carl: ...Is this really what he does when he sits around doing nothing? Just stare at house appliances all day? (shows a clip of Carl staring at a fan) Nope, it's not worth it. Jeremy: I'll be lounging on my couch just chilling in my Snuggie, click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie... Carl: What? You actually own a Snuggie? Why would you admit that!? Also, Jeremy, you realize that MTV doesn't play music videos. But of course, it makes sense that Jeremy learns the dance that uses almost no movement. Phineas, Ferb, and Irving: (while demonstrating the Dougie) My dougie, my dougie... Carl: Since Jeremy does stupid stuff when he's lazy, what's he going to do tomorrow? Jeremy: Tomorrow, I'll wake up, do some P90X, meet a really nice girl, have some really nice (bleep), and she's gonna scream out "this is great" Irving: (in a high-pitched voice) Oh my god, this is great! Carl: Basically, Jeremy is trying to get away from exercise and having fun with a girl....I could not hate this man even more than I already do. Irving: (in a high-pitched voice) Oh my god, this is great! Carl: Is this what Jeremy thinks of hot girls!? Is that supposed to be sarcastic? Jeremy: Yeah, I might mess around and get my college degree, I bet my old man will be so proud of me, but sorry, pops, you'll just have to wait... Carl: (sighs in annoyance, and then walks to his computer and prints out some papers. He walks back to the piano) What I have here is my college degree. I had to pay a hundred kajillion dollars to get a job reviewing Candace Flynn songs on the internet. Meanwhile, all summer long, we can listen to Jeremy Johnson sing about how he's going to goof around to get a degree. Fabulous. Carl: There's a reason why Jeremy keeps mentioning his junk in every lyric. THIS IS A KID'S SONG. Think about it. Everything he says in this song is something that adults would NEVER do. This song is for kids that don't want to do their homework, and are hiding from Mom. You know what? I'm starting this review over. To demonstrate what this song means to me, I'm going to show a clip of myself playing video games. (shows a clip of Carl playing video games) At least, THIS is doing something! I can reach goals and stuff. Yeah, those goals are getting to the next level of the game, but at least I'm doing something fun! Carl: Do you know what this song means to me? You tell them, Jeremy. Jeremy: (singing) Nothing at all. (Shows Carl sitting in front of a TV playing video games) Vanessa: Carl, what are you doing? Carl: This is for my review of "The Lazy Song". I'm supposed to demonstrate how this song is like. Vanessa: ...How long have you been doing this? Carl: Six hours. (episode ends)