| rdfs:comment | - Gustav Kirchoff (12 March 1824 – 17 October 1887) was born in Germany in the early 1800s to British gypsies. Even though he was born a German, his nationality was Prussian, but his heart was in Canada. This is because Germany auctioned him off as a small child to raise the money needed for the unification (c. 1870). Prussia won him with a bid of a small pebble, which is approximately £15,000 in modern money. In 1861, he "discovered" caesium and rubidium with Robert Bunsen. In reality, these metals were just bits of Bunsen's bed springs coated with paint bought from their local Homebase.
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| abstract | - Gustav Kirchoff (12 March 1824 – 17 October 1887) was born in Germany in the early 1800s to British gypsies. Even though he was born a German, his nationality was Prussian, but his heart was in Canada. This is because Germany auctioned him off as a small child to raise the money needed for the unification (c. 1870). Prussia won him with a bid of a small pebble, which is approximately £15,000 in modern money. In 1845, Kirchoff passed his circuit laws while he was still in university. Therefore we must thank the German legislation that forbids students to stay at any university without being permanently drunk, for without this law one wonders whether young Gustav would have ever thought up the idea of studying currants. If you would like to recreate the historic moment at which Kirchoff stumbled upon these laws, then drink large amounts of German lager, then drop a berry into a tube. Make your observations, construct a table (Kirchoff's had six legs), draw a graph and corresponding log graph then publish your results and drink some lager to celebrate. In 1861, he "discovered" caesium and rubidium with Robert Bunsen. In reality, these metals were just bits of Bunsen's bed springs coated with paint bought from their local Homebase. In 1887, Kirchoff passed away quietly while choking on a piece of caesium, which he mistook for a slice of Bratwurst. This tragic event has stood firmly in people's minds and, even today, students are told never to eat in a laboratory.
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