| abstract | - The Babbage Machine is a machine that grows babbages and uses them to perform calculations and execute computer programs. The machine was created by Charles Babbage (formerly Stinkypooface) in 1842. It was the first computer brought into this world. Babbages are a type of vegetable that is like a cabbage with a baby's face on it. Babbages are known for being mind-bendingly cute, and babbling incoherently. When they are young they are cute, but as they get older, babbages set out to avenge the continuing slaughter of their cousins, the cabbages. A Babbage Machine works by growing Babbages and then keeping a pool of babbages. Then, a program is fed to the babbages on punched cards. The babbages eat the punched cards and begin to babble. When one stands next to the Babbage Machine with one's head tilted at the correct angle, the sound of the babbling babbages coalesces to form the sound of the result of the computation, in the voice of James Earl Jones. This is a result of the babbulific properties of babbages, which are reinforced by the interior acoustic design of the machine.
|
