| abstract | - The many battles of Lindworm Castle were started because of a rumor. The towns people gossiped that because of the expensive clothes that the Lindworms wore, that they must be hiding treasure in their castle. After hearing this rumor, a group of two hundred unorganized yetis attempted to siege Lindworm Castle, however, they soon left after the Lindworms poured buckets of pitch over them from the castle walls. Then came the Darkmen. They were twice as numerous as the yetis and came better prepared with battering rams and scaling ladders. They were also a lot more experienced then the yetis. They were already covered in pitch, hence the name, so their would be no point in pouring more on them. However, the Lindworms soon boiled up some molten lead and poured it over the Darkmen, and they drew a hasty retreat. The rumors continued. It was believed that if the Lindworms defended their castle so valiantly, that they must be hiding something. Lindworm Castle was besieged by many different armies including Mad Prince Oggnagogg and his Cadaverous Cannibals, The Stone Giants, The Horrendous Horde, The Venomous Vampire, The Implacable Impalers, The Sinister Slayers and The Diabolical Deaths-Heads. However, all the Lindworms had to do was to pour some boiling water onto them. However, then came the Copper Killers, led by General Ticktock. The Lindworms attempted to pour pitch and molten lead but neither had any effect as the Copper Killers were machines. The Copper Killers started advancing on them. The Lindworms started to perform a ritual. The Lindworms gathered together as the mayor spoke: The lindworms proceeded to dance and picked up their instruments and played a lively tune. The simultaneous stamping of all the inhabitants in Lindworm Castle brought a giant rock upon the Copper Killers, burying twenty beneath it. General Ticktock ordered his Copper Killers to withdraw but never having heard the order, they stayed put. There was a loud rumbling and dozens of giant rocks fell out of the sky, crushing two thirds of the Copper Killers. General Ticktock managed to escape along with the remaining Copper Killers. Then came the Smarmies and with them the first peaceful siege. The Smarmies consisted of ex-soldiers from the many sieges of Lindworm Castle seeking revenge. They pitched their tents around Lindworm Castle, appraising all their work with glowing reviews. The Lindworms who were suspicious sent out five Lindworms to find out what it was about. The Lindworms were offended however, when the leader of the Smarmies, Volzotan Smyke, offered to publish their work for money. They returned to the castle to tell the others who were equally offended. Then an argument broke out against those who wanted their work published along with the money that came with it and those who were against the idea. The Lindworms decided to invite the Smarmies to a big reception at the market place. However, once everyone had settled down and the mayor of Lindworm Castle had walked up to the leader of the Smarmies, Smyke quickly drew a knife to the mayors throat threatening him. The rest of the Smarmies also pulled of their colorful clothes to reveal more concealed blades. Smyke then left the rest of his army to fight the Lindworms. However, sensing danger, the sleeping carnivorous ancestors of the Lindworms awoke. The battle that followed left all but half of the Lindworms dead and the only of the Smarmies that survived, was their leader, Volzotan Smyke.
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