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  • Skywalker's Law
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  • SkyWalker's law was an established government principle created by Luke Skywalker some time after the death of his father, Darth Vader and his master Emperor Palpatine. The law indicates that all Newborn babies shall have their right hands cut off by means of lightsaber and given cybernetics to replace said hand. This circumcision like action represented the Skywalker family's ability to always get their right hand lopped off, never the left. Right-wing Bastard! Princess Leia agreed that with this law, the Skywalker family would remain holy and give them an excuse to make everyone feel like them; failures. Later on it turned out to be more of a problem, people left and right were dying from electrocution when they would attempt to work on their spaceships, droids, or podracers. But No one
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abstract
  • SkyWalker's law was an established government principle created by Luke Skywalker some time after the death of his father, Darth Vader and his master Emperor Palpatine. The law indicates that all Newborn babies shall have their right hands cut off by means of lightsaber and given cybernetics to replace said hand. This circumcision like action represented the Skywalker family's ability to always get their right hand lopped off, never the left. Right-wing Bastard! Princess Leia agreed that with this law, the Skywalker family would remain holy and give them an excuse to make everyone feel like them; failures. Later on it turned out to be more of a problem, people left and right were dying from electrocution when they would attempt to work on their spaceships, droids, or podracers. But No one cares about the podracers so we're all good there. Medical fines went up as doctor employment was at an all time low do to all the bacta tanks, Jedi healing spells, and sentient robot surgeons. But no matter how high-class they were, the Skywalker royal family was forced into the same bad deal we all are upon being born: taxes. The Intergalactic Banking clan and the Trade Federation, both having new leadership came together and charged the New Republic billions of credits in order to pay for all the bills raised. Luke Skywalker denied paying these taxes, attempting to use his Jedi mind trick on the IRS, but like Jabba and Watto they were immune to the force's influence thanks to a strong belief in capitalism and the power of ethnic stereotypes to survive even in space. After 40 days and nights of training, Luke than brought down a new set of tablets of holographic law from a mountain plant; saying all male babies upon the 8th day of life must have their right hand cut off, and then replaced by a cybernetic one, lest he be tempted by the seductions of a dark side, force sensitive succubus like Mara Jade. The Law was later disbanded by the senate due to the fact that major companies all around the Galaxy that produced machines had to drop workers with the metallic arms to avoid risks of being responsible for injury. This caused economic turmoil that ended with the Galaxy no longer having a major supply of droids, guns, AT-AT's, Capital Ships, or robot dildos. Once the law was put down it took over forty five years for mass-machine businesses to re-open. By the time the Galaxy had a good amount of robot dildo's back, everyone had dropped the concept of masturbation, in fear of siring demons, which they would of coarse be siring anyways as celibate monk knights having prophetic wet dreams about their princess sisters being in peril.