| abstract | - The next quest lead our heroes to Bowerstone Market as they stood in front of a house. "Well this is the place" Adam said. "Come on the door open" Anna said as they looked inside then turned the corner to see three men in red hoods as one holding a crystal ball spotted them. "I don't believe it, you're a real heroes, I mean your just what we need!" he said. "For what?" Anna asked. "Hold this" the man said handing Anna and Adam the crystal ball. "Okay? Now what?" Adam asked as him and Anna began to shrink as Xander eye widen. Anna and Adam then found themselves lying on a bridge in the giant game bored of Lightwater Village. "The heroes wake, long had they harbored thoughts of vengeance against the evil Barron!" "Get on with it!" "What the hell?" Anna said as they stood up off the ground. "So it was the heroes came to the little village of Lightwater a pretty hamlet nestling under the brutal battlement of the evil Barron castle" "Great were their toys, let's get this over with" Adam said as he pushed opened the gates. "Our heroes resolved to talk to the towns folks to see what they could find out about the missing princess" the man said as they noticed a big cardboard cut of a man by the fence. "So we approach that?" Anna asked. "I guess" Adam said. "Excellent the heroes going to talk to Arturo, now we can get things moving!" "Greetings strangers" one of the men said talking for the fake cut out, "I can see from your good looks and heroic demeanor that you must be on a quest to rescues the princess" Jim said. "Uh yeah" Adam said. "I saw her yesterday, carried off by the Baron's evil servants, a troop of Hobbes, they took her through this gate to the castle on the hill!" Jim said. "What that's it? No clue to solve or anything?" Mark asked. "Well the heroes has to figure out how to get up the hill" Jim said. "You mean like by climbing it?" Ben said. "Ugh these three are getting on my nerves" Anna said as they walked towards the castle. "Hey! No spoilers!" Jim said. "The hero decided to investigate the eerie tower on the hill" Mark said as Anna and Adam looked to the not very scary looking tower. "Not very eerie thought is it? Ben you did the tower didn't you?" Jim asked. "Yeah but I thought you said pretty" Ben said. "What kind of adventure has a pretty tower on a hill?" Jim said. "Be quiet you two! I'll deal with this" Mark said as the setting changed around Adam and Anna as it got dark and fog appeared around them as wolves began coming towards them. "Ah now you're talking!" Jim said. "How the hell did they get wolves?" Anna asked as she and Adam began firing at the wolves. "So the heroes slew the last of the wolves, which had proven to be a mighty challenge and far more exciting than rabbits" Mark said. "Yeah a bit predictable though" Ben said as Adam and Anna headed towards the tower door. "The novelty of the rabbits wears off a bit when you realize you can't fight them though doesn't it" Jim said. "Does everything have to be about fighting?" Ben asked. "Yes-story is conflict, ideally with not too much story getting in the way" Jim said. "Ugh these morons" Anna said as they walked into a factory as their eye widen to what was on the conveyor belt. "The heroes entered the Baron factory" Mark said as they looked at the teddy bears moving down the belt. "Teddy bears?! What are teddy bears doing here?" Jim said. "Aren't they sweet? I put them in, nice eh?" Ben said. "Yeah they are, they are nice you know what we don't want in the evil Baron Castle? Anything nice!" Jim yelled. "Shhhh! Here comes the Princes and the Baron!" Mark said as two cut outs came down the belt then stopped. "Help! Oh somebody please help! I've been kidnapped by the evil Baron!" Ben said in a bad lady voice for the princess. "Oh god" Anna said. "Mwam hah hah! I am the evil Baron and the Princess shall be my wide and all these bears will-well they'll do evil stuff for they are evil teddy bears!" Mark said in a villain voice for Baron. "I shall never marry you!" Ben said for the princess. "Oh she's spirited I like that" Jim said as Adam and Anna walked down the stairs and noticed a chest lying to their left as they approached and Adam opened it as a cardboard jumped out. " A wise old man suddenly appeared before the heroes!" Jim said. "Riddle me, riddle me cried the old man" "On no not one of your puzzles they're far too hard just let them open the chest" Ben said. "If all trimps are tromps and all tromps are chumps then all trimps are defiantly trumps true or false?" "Actually that's rather easy" Ben said. "Oh just give them the sword!" Mark yelled as Adam was given a sword. "Okay" Adam said as him and Anna headed down the hall till they reached a room with arrows pointing to a lever on the floor. "You ruined my puzzle! It took me ages to work that out and now they got the sword far too easily it should have been much harder!" Jim said. Adam then pulled down on the lever as the lights went out. "Okay who set up the lever?" Mark asked. "I thought you did?" Jim said. "Well I thought it was Jim job" Ben said. "Tsk quick let's make something up" Mark said. "Erm well how about it releases a cloud of lovely butterflies?" Ben said as butterflies flew around Adam and Anna. "Worst game ever, I'm serious" Jim said as the lights turned how. "Well how about a standard Hollow Man encounter?" Mark said. "Yeah let's have some bloody action" Jim said as a light came on and Hollow Man began to appear into the room. "Hollow Men, why am I not surprised" Anna said drawing her hammer. "No need" Adam said charging for a spell "Inferno-Force Push!" he yelled hitting all the Hollow Men with a power wall of fire and knocked them into the walls. "And with the Hollow Men vanquished the Heroes ventured on" Mark said as some doors opened as they founded themselves in a large cave and saw the Baron cut out. "Foolish hero, your pursuit ends here for you will be devoured by the killed monsters of this ravine, mwah, hah hah!" Jim said in Baron voice as the cardboard fell over and Anna and Adam ventured into the ravine till they saw a small chicken surrounded by bones. "You got to be kidding me" Adam said. "And the killer monsters are...chickens? A Chicken?!" Mark said. "Yes, I thought it was time to put something cute but also to make us think about our relationship with food and that" Ben said. "Bloody hell Ben...you...wait let me fix it" Jim said as the chicken turned black as it grew to a size of a Hobbe, "there this is no ordinary chicken, it's a fire breathing demon chicken!" The chicken then launched a fire ball at Adam and Anna as they quickly dodged rolled out of the way as Adam stabbed it with his sword as they fought their way past the demon chickens. "And so the mighty heroes triumphed over the fire-breathing demonic, um chickens of doom! Anyway on they ran seeking a way out of these dark and gloomy caverns" Mark said. "The exit over there" Anna said as they headed out into the light. "The hero emerged into the light to find the Baron at Bay!" Mark said as they spotted the princess and Baron cut outs and they saw the three hooded men looking down at them. "Help me heroes, you're my only hope!" Ben said in princess voice. "I the Baron shall tolerate you meddling no longer! My elite Hobbe guard will take care of you, they hunger for human flesh! Mwah ha ha!" Jim said for Baron. "Hobbes? Oh goodie" Anna said as Hobbes began to appear. "Ice Storm-Shock!" Adam yelled making it rain sharp electric blades of ice hitting all the Hobbes as Anna and Adam began slaying all Hobbes in sight with their weapons. "The Barons elite guards lay at their feet, nothing now lay between them and the evil Baron!" Mark said as Adam and Anna approached the Baron cutout "I challenge you to personal combat hero but know I am immune to all weapons save one, the magic sword that is the bane of my existence which there is no way you could possibly have" Jim said as Adam poked the cardboard cut out with the sword making it fall over. "The sword! The Bane Sword! It cannot be! Nooo! I am slain Eck!" "What kind of rubbish game kills the villain in one blow?" Mark said. "Well you are the one who gave the heroes that Baron Bane Sword" Ben said. "Yeah but it wasn't supposed to be easy to get!" Jim said. "Give it a rest will you, please come on back to the game" Mark said. "Hero, thank you for saving me, how can I ever repay you?" Ben said in princess voice. "I can think of something" Ben said laughing. "Yeah!" Mark chuckled as Anna glared up at them, "the hero kisses the princess." "Bit of a cliché" Ben said. "An incredibly hot cliché if the girl does it" Jim said. "I will kill them" Anna said. "It's ironic it's a self-aware commentary on nature of the cliché" Mark said. "An incredibly hot self-aware commentary on nature of the cliché" Jim said. "Just do it Anna so we can leave" Adam said. "Ugh fine!" Anna said approaching the cardboard and kissed it, "there happy?!" "And they both lived happily ever after?" Ben said. "They would have but the Baron had poisoned the princess and she died an excruciating death, her inhuman death tormented a local stable boy who grew up to be a vicious serial killer and cannibal" Jim said. "You're sick Jim! Why do you always want to kill everything? Why can't we just have a happy ending?" Ben asked as Anna crossed her arms and began tapping her foot. "That is a happy ending" Jim said. "I'm with Ben they lived happily ever after and there was little to no cannibalism" Mark said. "Oh great, yeah never seen THAT before" Jim said as Anna and Adam began to grow again and stood back in the room. "Great work my friend that was fantastic!" Jim said. "You have to be the best heroes of all time! I'm going to have my bard/ sorcerer compose a song about you" Ben said. "Whatever" Mark said. "We bestow upon you the titles of Honoree Master of Dungeons!" Jim said. "Were out of here!" Anna said as her and Adam left the room. "That was strange" Adam said. "We never speak of this again" Anna said.
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