| abstract | - Gayon is a recently discovered elementary particle whose existence has been postulated to explain various natural processes. Due to the Gayon's strange attraction towards like charges, it can be seen as the fundamental explanation of homosexuality, Bisexuality on the other hand is still an oddity. Although gayon abundance has not been directly linked to homosexuality, statistical studies have shown a repeatable correlation between low-level emissions of gayons and metrosexuality. Gayon depletion and abundance have correlatable effects on the natural environment, with both states causing significant deviation from the normal base state. It has been postulated that certain conditions might cause a critical mass of gayons, thus causing a funk-galactic fantastasplosion, with a resulting muta-wave that would radiate throughout the known universe converting all other known particles into gayons. One such plausible scenario would be Elton John, Liberace, and Richard Simmons in a pink bubble bath together. A recent addendum to the theory of Gayons postulates that they come in three different flavours, Cool, Way Not Cool, and Tutti Fruity. Unfortunately this has yet to be verified, as few researchers are comfortable with tasting gayon emissions unprotected.
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