| abstract | - Of course autistic fanboys thought he was a super-important mystery. For years, they argued about whether he'd regenerated into the War Chief or the Master. This even caused a hissy fit on the game show Mastermind. But eventually, Doctor Who was taken over by autistic fanboys. Andrew Cartmel never succeeded in getting him written back in to the show, but every VNA and BFA had to either update the Monk's history after the ice planet or show us the Monk's past back on Gallifrey. So now we know that he was named Mortimus, he was the Master's bestie at the Academy, he was jealous of the Doctor and the Master being besties back at the Academy, he caused the Land of Fiction, he was Death's Champion before The Master, he was Death's Champion after the Master, he was Time's Champion before the Doctor, nobody but the Doctor calls him The Monk, everybody calls him The Monk and he hates it, everybody calls him The Monk because he insists except when using clever references like Abbot Thelonius (get it, Abbot like the synonym for Monk only it's a name, and Thelonius like Thelonius Monk?), he was recruited by the Celestial Intervention Agency he Doctor go be exiled to Earth, he was the CIA's top operative before the Doctor and jealous of the Doctor's position with them, he had kinky secks with Lucie Miller and Tamsin Drew, he tried fucking up the Doctor's timeline when Tamsin died of syphilis, he somehow survived The Last Great Time War without getting stuck in the hot pocket dimension, and he survived the Last Great Time War in the hot pocket dimension and then managed to escape during the whole Trenzalone thing, and he fled the universe during the Last Great Time War and whether he succeeded or died in the attempt he can never come back. He's probably The Rani in disguise.
|
