| abstract | - Kategorie:Löschanträge__NOINDEX__
- Lõuna-Hollandi provintsis asuv ajalooline linn.
- Duft was founded in 842 BC by a band of rogue bicycle repairmen who were tired of wardriving 'pon the land and felt inclined to settle down and procreate. Duft's existence is testament to completing the first goal, though there remains constant difficulty in implementing the second. In 911 AD, Duft's mayor Georgios Demisthios Pletho founded the Technical Broom Closet of Duft. (Pletho is also known for his magnum opus, Zen and the Art of Bicycle Repair.) After a wild night in Leyden, William of Orange accidentally renamed this institution the Technical University Duft. The Markt (a quaint local misspelling of market), in the center of Duft, could become the center of your life, if your life were centered around Dutch tourist knick-knacks. Or if you have an uncontrollable desire to hear bells ringing. The bells in the Nieuwe Kerk, which overlooks the Markt, ring incessantly. This is an effort by local authorities to keep property prices 'affordable' in the center of town. The effort has been going on for the past four centuries with no effect, but in the Netherlands lack of results has never been a reason to stop trying. Other historical events in Duft are the burning down of the spire on the New Church in 1536. This was widely seen as a good omen, and the celestial powers were pleased to confirm the interpretation by repeating the event (lightning, kaboom, fire, half church burns down, half town burns down, valuable real estate becomes available, speculation starts, everybody becomes rich, everybody becomes poor, let's build another steeple and see if the old omen still works, yes it does) in 1872. To fill the interval between the two disasters, in 1654 Jan Poortman, an unemployed man from Schiedam, dumped a still-blazing joint into a public ashtray, which turned out to be a secondary vent of the greatest accumulation of gunpowder between Paris and Oslo. Jan enjoyed a brief and spectacular liberation from his life's troubles, but his spirit can still be seen wondering the Duft center, begging for enough funds to buy a portable ashtray. Given the Duftian propensity for disasters, the presence of a nuclear reactor in the Duft Technical University campus is cause for limitless, ass-clenching chill-sweats terror.
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