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| rdfs:comment | - Bonerism was founded when revelations of mystic knowledge, which were engraved on nine silver dinner plates, were first discovered by mankind in prehistoric times. The first followers were a band of hunter-gatherers who came across the sacred nine silver plates while foraging for food. As a testament to the mysterious ways of this religion, the nine plates were said to be engraved only with Bonerism's Four Basic Rules: Without all nine plates, the four rules of Bonerism were said to be undecipherable.
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| abstract | - Bonerism was founded when revelations of mystic knowledge, which were engraved on nine silver dinner plates, were first discovered by mankind in prehistoric times. The first followers were a band of hunter-gatherers who came across the sacred nine silver plates while foraging for food. As a testament to the mysterious ways of this religion, the nine plates were said to be engraved only with Bonerism's Four Basic Rules: 1.
* Thou shalt wash thy boner with anti-bacterial soap twice per year 2.
* Thou shalt not rape, rape is punishable with death by rape 3.
* Thou shalt not fight while bonered, it looks stupid and your boner may be injured in battle 4.
* Thou shalt not feel shame of unplanned boners Without all nine plates, the four rules of Bonerism were said to be undecipherable. Humans enjoyed a lengthy "Silver Age" of enlightenment before the plates were transported into another dimension when dancing Greek gods smashed them during a wedding reception on Mount Olympus. The plates were then rediscovered by two young boys in an alternate universe who stumbled upon them while leading a mushroom-eating tribe to the promised land and simultaneously fighting and defeating an evil Porcupine Lord called Dinsdale. One boy was an Arab, the other was Irish and neither of them went into a bar and said anything. The sacred tenants of Bonerism were back in human hands and the Boner religion as we know it today was founded anew on earth.
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