• Ponyo
  • Ponyo is the titular protagonist of Ponyo.
  • The film has won several awards, including the Japan Academy Prize for Animation of the Year. It was released in Japan on July 19, 2008, in the US and Canada on August 14, 2009, and in the UK on February 12, 2010. The film reached #9 in the US box office charts for its opening weekend.
  • NC: (voiceover) As I enter my next con at Anime Milwaukee, I realize that I stand upon the threshold of my 200th episode. By God. 200 episodes. I can't just review another bad nostalgic movie. I have to review something different and unexpected, but what could I choose? (looks around the convention) Anime. It continues to be such a large part of geek culture. Surely, there must be something strange enough and unique enough that Japanese animation can give me to look at. (sees a stuffed clownfish) Of course. Inspired. Ingenious. The Internet will love me forever. I now know what I must review for my 200th episode.
  • Good
  • To become human
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  • 2012-02-22
  • Her father's overprotectiveness
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  • Next review
Row 2 info
  • 1379.0
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Row 1 title
  • Released
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  • Running time
  • Her fish sisters
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  • Commentary
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  • Previous review
Box Title
  • Ponyo
  • Hayao Miyazaki
  • Ham, Sosuke, being human, her mother
  • 6060.0
  • Beautiful, short stature, short red hair, red dress, white bloomers
  • Hayao Miyazaki
  • Japan
  • Ponyo
  • Energetic, eager, cute, adventurous, sweet, affectionate, childlike.
  • Noboru Yoshida
  • Japanese release poster
  • Japanese
  • She kisses Sosuke, and becomes a human forever.
  • Atsushi Okui
  • Her magic powers
Image size
  • 320
  • Magic
  • 2.02614288E8
  • The Ocean
  • Sosuke's home
  • A young fish on a jellyfish looking outside. Behind her is three boats sailing in the sea near a cliff. Text below reveals the film's title and the credits.
  • Toho
  • Walt Disney Pictures
  • Daughter of Fujimoto and Granmamare, Princess of the Sea
  • Brunhilde
  • Ponyo
  • Sosuke, Lisa, Kumiko
Image File
  • Nc_ponyo_by_marobot-d4qffhb.jpg
  • "Ponyo wants ham!"
  • 3.4E9
  • Ponyo is the titular protagonist of Ponyo.
  • The film has won several awards, including the Japan Academy Prize for Animation of the Year. It was released in Japan on July 19, 2008, in the US and Canada on August 14, 2009, and in the UK on February 12, 2010. The film reached #9 in the US box office charts for its opening weekend.
  • NC: (voiceover) As I enter my next con at Anime Milwaukee, I realize that I stand upon the threshold of my 200th episode. By God. 200 episodes. I can't just review another bad nostalgic movie. I have to review something different and unexpected, but what could I choose? (looks around the convention) Anime. It continues to be such a large part of geek culture. Surely, there must be something strange enough and unique enough that Japanese animation can give me to look at. (sees a stuffed clownfish) Of course. Inspired. Ingenious. The Internet will love me forever. I now know what I must review for my 200th episode. NC: I'm gonna review Ponyo! Singers: (singing) Ponyo, Ponyo, Ponyo, fishie in the sea. Tiny little fishie... NC: Good. I think I've lost them. Okay, look. Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I don't hate this movie. I don't even dislike it. NC: (vo) I think it's good. It's cute, it's creative, it's got memorable characters and visuals, which is what you'd expect from the great director Miyazaki. I just think there's a few things in this movie that people overlook and that maybe they should look a little closer at. Like I said, it doesn't make it bad, but I think it does make it worth another viewing. NC: And that's not worth killing a guy over, is it? (Hears a mob outside chanting "Crucify Him!") Let's look at Ponyo. NC: (vo) So as we roam through the ocean, or as the Japanese like to call it "a free buffet", we see a magical man named Fujimoto, voiced by Liam Neeson, who somehow managed to be the father of this strange looking Cartman fish. Cartman: (audio only) Screw you guys, Imma goin home! NC: (vo) The Cartman fish manages to make her way to the surface where she comes across a boy named Sosuke voiced by ... I don't know, one of the million Jonas Brothers. Sosuke: That was weird. NC: (vo) Yup. (sighs) We're definitely in a Miyazaki movie. Only in his world can water have eyes, and the only response is... Sosuke: That was weird. NC: (as Sosuke) I'm desensitized by seizure-inducing Asian cartoons. Sosuke: (accidentally cuts his thumb) Ow. (sucks it and picks up Ponyo) It looks kind of dead. NC: (vo) Oh, my God, it craves blood. Kill it before her thirst consumes us all! Fujimoto: The boy! This is very bad. NC: (vo) His mother, played by Tina Fey, allows him to keep the fish and is surprisingly not shocked that it has a face like the Numa Numa kid. But hey, I wouldn't be distracted by that, either, if I saw this coming towards me. NC: (vo) Does he really think that's not gonna turn a few heads? It's like if Tim Burton was directing a movie version of 'Mario Sunshine'. (Pictures of Tim Burton and Mario from the same game title is shown) Lisa: Excuse us. Fujimoto: Please wait. NC: (vo) Ah, lets get to one of the more interesting aspects of this movie: THE MOTHER'S FUCKING CRAZY DRIVING! I'm not kidding! Her driving in this movie is downright insane! She drives in front of ships, almost falls off cliffs, even with a tidal wave coming, she's like: "Fuck that shit, I'm gonna go GTA on this mother!" I wouldn't mind too much except for the fact that she always has a kid with her! If you wanna drive like Tootses the Cat, (clip of Tootses from SNL plays, cut back to movie) that's fine. But spare the life of the little Moe Howard here, would ya? Sosuke: Mom, I think I will call her Ponyo. Sosuke: Ponyo really likes to eat ham. NC: (vo) So Ponyo moves on from blood to craving fresh flesh, and Sosuke is dropped off at school. Where he suddenly feels afraid to show anybody his new pet. Kumiko: Sosuke! NC: (vo surprised) Oh hey, I didn't know Kiki was in this movie. Kumiko: ...made a new dress. Isn't it pretty? Sosuke: Hmmmmmmm... Karen: (monotone) Hey Sosuke, Let's go play. NC: Yeah, nice read, kid. Karen: (monotone) Hey Sosuke, Let's go play. NC: (vo) (imitating Karen) Hey Sosuke, have you seen my soul? NC: (vo) After school, he goes to where his mom works, which is at an old folk's home. HOPEFULLY she doesn't drive them anywhere. Toki: AAAAH! It has a real face on it! Put it back in the ocean. Don't you realize it'll cause a tsunami? NC: Uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Yoshie: Oh you. It's always a tsunami. NC: (monotone) I, uh, heh, don't wanna make a joke about that in light of certain events that happened a while ago... Toki: Fish with faces who come out of the sea cause tsunamis! NC: (monotone) You're, uh, making it very difficult for me to avoid (the scene where Toki says "Tsunami" is put on loop and overlaps with the Critic's dialogue) this joke. I really don't wanna make that joke so if you- (scene still continues) stop saying that. Uh- (normal) You know, this is the 200th episode! Shouldn't there be guest stars or something? LK: Excuse me, is this the Nostalgia Critic's room? NC: (stands up and gasps) Internet sensation Little Kuriboh?!! LK: I heard you're reviewing Ponyo. NC: Well, yeah! LK: Well...(pulls out a baseball bat and whacks NC with it and keeps hitting him during his dialogue with NC crying out in pain) See, I actually rather enjoyed the movie, because I think that it was just fantastic, while Miyazaki's a genius obviously, and, well, I think you don't have any right to talk about it, because I don't think you did any research, because I thought the storyline was fabulous, and, well, I think they did exactly what they needed to with the story and the budget and everything they had. And 'Ponyo' is fantastic, just like any Japanese anime, and that's my two cents. (throws baseball bat on ground and leaves the room, NC's hand rises weakly) NC: Little...Kuriboh everybody. (Audience cheer is heard and his hand falls to the floor, cut back to movie) Ponyo: So...suke. Sosuke: Ponyo. Sosuke. Ponyo: Ponyo...loves...Sosuke! (splashes around) NC: (vo) So Ponyo starts talking, much to Sosuke's amazement. But the Nightmare Before Cthulu comes along and takes her away. Sosuke: PONYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! NC: (vo) Sosuke, of course, is upset. But not as upset as his mother is once she discovers that his father, who's captain of a ship, is going out on another excursion. Lisa: Too many in a row, Kôichi. Let someone else take it. Go ahead, abandon your wife and child up here on a cliff all alone. JERK! (slams phone, sighs and goes to fridge and pulls out a beverage) NC: (vo) This looks like a job for alcohol. Lisa: (opens the beverage before it spills over; she groans) Ahhhhh. Kôichi: Hey, my son is working the signal all by himself. Sosuke: (looking through binoculars at lights flashing across from him) S-o-r-r-y. (looks offscreen) Dad says he's very sorry. Sosuke: Don't cry, Mom. I know Dad breaks his promises sometimes, but he does his best for us. NC: (vo) So (sighs) if driving crazy, getting drunk, and arguing in front of your kid doesn't make you mother of the year, surely having your kid give YOU parental advice oughta do the trick. But Ponyo's father, under the ocean, is finding out what an impact the human world has on her. Fujimoto: (pokes olive through her bubble, but she refuses) Eat, Ponyo. Ponyo: I..want..Ham! Fujimoto: Ham? You ate their food. What else did you do? Did you taste blood, Brunhilde? NC: (vo) Wow, he just asked that so nonchalantly. Is that a common thing you ask someone who went to the surface? NC: So did you have fun? NC: (offscreen as Ponyo) Yeah. NC: Did you take lots of pictures? NC: (offscreen as Ponyo) Yeah. NC: Did you taste blood? NC: (offscreen as Ponyo) Yeah--I mean, no. NC: Oh oh oh, you tasted blood. NC: (offscreen as Ponyo) Yeah, hahaha. NC: You tasted blood. Tell me, who did you kill? NC: (offscreen as Ponyo) A Kardashian. NC: Well, that's okay. Ponyo: Hands. I want hands. (begins to try to form legs and succeeds chicken sound effect is heard) NC: (vo) Oh, isn't that cute? She's sinning against nature. Ponyo: I made hands. I'm going to Sosuke. Fujimoto: ENOUGH! NC: (vo) But he does manage to finally reduce her down to normal size. Thank God he almost had to break his monotone for that. Fujimoto: When the well is full, and the age of the ocean will begin again. An explosion of life to match the Cambrian age. An end to the era of those abominable humans. (leaves room and closes door) NC: (vo sounding concerned) Um, yikes! Did he say something about a sea revolution destroying mankind? Sort of a big character discovery that might need a little bit more explaining. But nope! It's just a hobby he's working on. Which, of course, will lead to Ponyo coming across it and accidentally messing up everything. As she becomes more and more human, the chemicals from the well are broken into and creates a monstrous explosion of sea life. NC: (vo) (singing to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries) Po-o-o-oonyo, Po-o-o-oonyo, Po-o-o-oonyo, destroyer of man! Sailor #1: Captain! All our instruments just went dead! Kôichi: It's a little girl. Looks like she's about Sosuke's age. NC: (vo) Wow. There's an army of fish knocking over your boat led by a teeny tiny little girl and the first thing to catch your attention is she's roughly Sosuke's age? Kôichi: It's a little girl. Looks like she's about Sosuke's age. NC: (as Kôichi) I mean, I know she's using her demon powers to wipe out mankind, but still my son and her might get along. Teacher: Its raining so hard, Sosuke. I'll call your mother and have her pick you up. NC: (vo) NOOOOOOO! Let him walk! Trust me, it's safer than letting her drive! So the mother does pick him up and--what a shock--she drives like a psycho. Guard #1: You can't cross here! Guard #2: You need to go back and seek shelter! Lisa: (poking head out of window) Okay, but right now, I need to get home. Guard #1: But you can't cross here! Guard #2: Take the mountain road! Lisa: (back in car and starts to put it into drive) Hold on, kiddo. NC: (vo) Oh my God, what is this women's problem?! Why does she need to get home? Why is it worth putting your son's life at risk?! Nobody's this crazy!! Singers: (Audio only) Go Speed Racer GO!!!!!!!!!!!! Lisa: Turn around. Sit down. NC: (vo) (as Sosuke) Mom, what'd you put in my lunch? (normal) So apparently, Ponyo's hunger for the flesh called ham is leading to the destruction of the entire city. NC: (vo) (satanic) PONYO wants HAAAMMMM! (beat) You will not stop my pursuit of Oscar Mayer! NC: (vo) (satanic) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!! NC: (vo) (satanic) By the demons of the sea, I will have HAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!! (Sosuke's bucket goes flying, car stops and Ponyo walks out of the tidal wave that washes up on the road with Sosuke's bucket in hand, cut to Lisa and Sosuke getting out of car and sees Ponyo) Lisa: (to Sosuke) It is a little girl. (looks out and waves her arm to Ponyo) Come over here! NC: (vo) (satanic) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!! NC: (vo) Oh, my god, she's eating his face! Her thirst for blood will never be quenched! Sosuke: (excited) Mom! Ponyo's back and she's a little girl now. (Ponyo jumps into Sosuke's arms and hugs him) NC: (vo) So the mother, I'm hoping, doesn't quite know if this is the fish that she saw earlier. But she knows that she now has two kids to look after, so she keeps them inside during the storm. SS: Ey! So where's this Nostalgia Critic? (Crowd applause is heard) NC: (stands up and gasps) Voiceover Actor: Spike Spencer?!! NC: (simultaneously) Hey, how you doin', man? You know, every single time I see you, I just say to myself, "Wow, how does he do that voice? It's just unbelievable!" I mean, it's just you really...look at the work you've done. I wish my heart a lot when you do these animated characters and stuff. I say to myself, "Wow! He has to really get inside my soul. He has to do these incredible things." And you are awesome. You are so incredible. "How does this guy do it?" I mean, it's just unbelievable! SS: (simutaneously) Hey! I can't believe it! Great to see you. Everything you do is fantastic. Every time I see you, your stuff cracks me up. I mean, with all the work you've done. I've met so many people, yet your stuff makes me happy. I mean, you're fantastic with everything you've done. I mean, oh my God. I am so impressed with all your work. Awesome--No, you are awesome. You are awesomer. You are the best, Nostalgia Critic. But you know, I think I'm gonna head out. (Editor's Note: Feel free to clean up and edit the overlapping dialogue between NC and Spike Spencer) SS: Hey! There you go! Have a good one! See you later! (He quickly leaves) NC: ...Thanks so much for leaving a...a grenade (looks down, beat) down my pa--(Grenade explodes and we get the Color Bars test pattern screen with a subtitle that reads "We'll be right back". On the site, it cuts to an advertisement. Back to movie) NC: (vo) Thus they partake in--what I can only describe as--'terminal cuteness'. Ponyo: Ponyo wants Ham! Sosuke: All she thinks about is ham, Mom. NC: (rocks back and forth with hands at side of his head) Kawaii, Kawaiiii! NC: (vo) And yes, she even gets her freaking ham. Sosuke: Whoa. Ponyo: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! It's HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! Sosuke: (overlapping) Careful. It's hot. NC: (satanic) You know you dream of this day all your life, and then once you have it in the palm of your hands, no satanic powers of the sea can ever match it! (pretends to be eating ham) Ohh, OHHohh. It tastes like the deCEAsed! NC: (vo) But, AGAIN, just to show what a great mother she is, Sosuke's mother leaves BOTH of them behind in the middle of a STORM to check on the old people! Lisa: Right now, our house is a beacon in the storm. You know I need to help the old people. NC: (vo) Yes, go to the old folks who are near the end of their existence, and leave behind the young ones who are small and full of life. (Cut to NC) Look you're nice and quirky but, you are HORRID! (vo) But hey, on the plus side, it does leave him one less road trip with Crazy McCrash Crash. Otto West (A Fish Named Wanda): (audio) AssHOLLLLLLLE! NC: (vo) Meanwhile, Fujimoto meets up with Ponyo's mother and...let's just say he has a thing for larger women. Granmamare: Fujimoto. Fujimoto: It's been a long time, my love. NC: (vo) Yeah, macrophiliacs are creaming themselves right now. Don't know what that is? Ehh, don't look it up. (beat) Stop going to the Google bar! Fujimoto: You're going to be very upset, my dear. Ponyo got into my elixirs and she has tasted human blood. NC: (vo) And in answer to ALL your questions out there, I have no idea how they did it. Man mates with goddess, making sushi obsessed with ham. At this point, I think it's best not to ask questions. Fujimoto: She's now a little girl, she loves a little boy, and the whole world is out of balance. Please, please remove the human in her or the planet is doomed. NC: (vo) You know, Neeson, I know it's just part of how you say things, but couldn't you put a little emotion in the line "THE PLANET IS DOOMED?!!" It's kind of a biggie; I think you can risk raising your voice a bit. Sosuke: That was weird. NC: (vo) So Ponyo and Sosuke wake up the next morning and find that most of Japan is...underwater NC: Guest star! UY: NOSTALGIA CRITIC! NC: (stands up and gasps) Stand-up comedian Uncle Yo?!! UY: You've got something to answer for! NC: I'll just come here where I seem to greet everybody and ask you what you're doing here. UY: I hear you're reviewing Ponyo. NC: (concerned) Yeah. UY: (releases fist to point his finger) I personally find it's a bit overrated. NC: What? UY: I just think that Miyazaki's work as a whole is so underlined with all this incredible political, economic and social psychology with all of his films, that he's completely throwing it out the window for this adorable little 5-year old love story. But it's--Really? The love of a 5-year old? It goes way out of proportion, and then the whole end-of-the-world happening: the moon is sinking, the ocean is rising. Do we really need Majora's Mask? It looks like, you know, Colin Baker the Sixth Doctor and Willy Wonka as, like, Fujimoto. I don't even need to see something that strong. It just looks like this angry crackhead. It really went over-the-top. I just didn't think that he needed to. It was a simple love story, and hat was the joy of it. And did Liam Neeson need the money? Did Liam Neeson need the money? No. Liam Neeson didn't need the money at all. NC: ... ... Really? UY: No, bitch! (Shoots the critic twice) YOU DO NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO TACKLE MIYAZAKI! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO TALK ABOUT MIYAZAKI. (shoots three more times) HE HAS ACHIEVED SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL! (Spits on him, then he mumbles something else) NC: (vo) So using more of Ponyo's powers, they turn their toy boat into an actual size-boat, and they set out to look for Sosuke's mother. Along the way, they come across a friendly couple. Woman: Hello, you two. Sosuke: Hello. Man: Hey, that is quite a boat you got there. Woman: I've seen you before. You're Lisa's little boy, aren't you? NC: (vo) Boy, they sure are chipper for everything they've ever known suddenly being lost. In fact, a lot of people in this movie treat it like an inconvinence, like the power went out and it will just be on in a second. They don't act like they just lost their house and home. But hey, I'm sure that a reaction a lot of people would have when they went through--Doooh! NC: Damnit, you almost made me make a joke about it!! Sosuke: By the way, have you seen my mom? Man: Why isn't your mother with you? NC: (vo) Good fucking question! Ponyo: I used to be a fish! Woman: Is that right? NC: (vo) And then we have... this very bizarre scene. Woman: My baby likes you. (Repeatedly cutting back and forth between Ponyo, the baby and NC while creepy music plays) NC: Give me a mood, movie. Am I charmed by this, or frighteningly disturbed? Man: Take care. Woman: Be careful! Woman: What's the matter? NC: (vo) (satanic)By the satanic powers of ham you will be silent! The flesh and the meat shall be consumed! NC (vo): HAAAAAAMMMMM! (normally) So yeah, I don't really know what she was supposed to have done there, but apparently, it cheered the baby up. It would have scared the living FUCKOIDS out of me, but hey, maybe babies like random head-butting! I'll admit, I've tried it. But Ponyo starts to get weak and loses her magic power, just as they reach his mother's car. Sosuke: MOOOMMMM! MOOommm? NC: (vo) Again, clearly she made the right choice in leaving him behind. Next week, she's going to teach him how to fix an electrical socket... under water. NC: So Ponyo continues to turn back into a fish as her father explains what's going on. Old woman: Sosuke! Don't listen to that wacko! He tricked all the others to going with him! Fujimoto: There is so little time! My choice has to be made! (He points up to the sky as a Photoshopped image of the moon from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask) If the moon comes any closer! Can't you see it? The world is out of balance! We will all be underwater! (Sosuke runs to a wooden beam while carrying a bucket with Ponyo inside it) Old woman: Sosuke! Come on! Faster! (A black form with multiple pairs of eyes has risen out of the water and goes after Sosuke) NC: (vo) There's no time! Michael Bay it! (Sosuke makes a jump for it; in slow motion, Ponyo flies out of the bucket and onto the old woman's face before Sosuke collides into her face-first; freeze frame on the old woman having grabbed for Sosuke) NC: (vo) There's a caption contest for ya! NC: See what you come up with it. I'm curious. NC: (vo) But they do manage to get to where the mother and the old people are so that Sosuke can make a final choice concerning Ponyo. Granmamare: Could you love her if she moved between two worlds? Sosuke: Mmm-hmm. Granmamare: The balance of nature is restored! Life begins again. (All the old people cheer) NC (vo): So that...SOMEHOW saves the world...a little weird...but let's face it, we all want to see a happy ending. Fujimoto: (to Sosuke) Try to remember me kindly, if you will. (They both shake hands) Take care of Ponyo. Bryan Mills (from "Taken"): (audio, dubbed over Fujimoto) But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Sailor #1: Lisa! And Sosuke! Ahoy! (Ponyo flies up into the air before falling back down to kiss Sosuke on the lips, turning back into a human girl and staring into his eyes; freeze frame on this moment as the camera pulls back to view it in full, ending the film) NC: So that's 'Ponyo,' and for the millionth time, it's a good movie. (A montage of clips from the movie play as the Critic gives his final thoughts) NC (vo): It does have--in my opinion, though--some major problems, like the constant parenting mistakes do sort of get to me, and the thing about the world going to end really seems unneeded. A simple story about a girl fish who meets a boy and wants to be human I think works well enough. But honestly, that's what they focus on through the majority of it, and that's where the charm and likability does come from. It's cute, it's creative, the characters are memorable, and the animation, of course, is unbelievable. It's just an all-around fun film, and I really enjoyed it. (Dissolve to the Critic addressing a huge crowd, who nods in agreement with everything he says) NC: So as you can see, I do enjoy this movie. Does it have some problems? Sure, but you know what? It's Miyazaki. It has it's own charm, it has it's own cutesiness to it, and it's just a lot of fun. (chuckles a bit and waves a hand in dismissal) Not like that movie "Howl's Moving Castle." (Everyone in the crowd gasps) Audience Member's Voice: What?! (Everybody gets up to run towards the camera; NC looks on in shock again) (A montage of images featuring the audience members attacking NC in various ways is shown as the ending credits roll and the movie's theme song plays in the background) Channel Awesome Tagline--Ponyo: HAAAMMMM!
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