| abstract | - England (Ingland to the native Inglish) was founded by boatloads of illegal immigrants from Germany in 455. Before then the country was known as Poundland and was inhabited by people who were called Denarii and had once been club members of the Roman Empire. In an argument about membership fees, the Denarii (or Britons as then now called themselves) voted to leave the Roman Empire and set up themselves a Free Trading Nation - well as long as you liked sheep and sausages. Since the Britons had forgotten how to defend their nation from the feared Imperial bureaucrats in Rome, they invited soldiers to defend Poundland. Though only fighting men were invited, the Britons saw ship after ship containing English speaking foreigners. These ancestral tribes are remembered as the Jutes, Angles, Saxons, Geordii, Brummie and the long haired Scousers. Spreading out from the South East like a fungus, these newcomers took over ancient city centres, dispossessed the natives and set up their own kingdoms. Calling themselves 'Anglo-Saxons' (already then the English thought double barrelled names added value to their squalid settlements) they set up their own kingdoms: Middle-Sex, Wantsex, Sowsex and Buttsex, East Uglier, Northwellhunghere, Mercykillingarea...etc...etc. Later on 'England' was used to describe their territory and that sort of stuck. The French still call the English 'Anglo-Saxons' to this day, hoping this will make the English very upset. Well at least Charles DeGaulle thought it was funny.
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