| abstract | - Brad and Jerrid Shit Their Pants (March 16, 2010) [Opening titles are shown] Jerrid: I miss having him around. Brad: Oh please, he was a fucking douche! I was like, (does a douchey, hipster voice) “Um, you two watch Beavis and Butthead? I watch Darla. Now if you excuse me I need to get my scarf and head back to the coffee shop. (Makes an odd sound)” Auck! I fucking hated Dave! Jerrid: Oh he wasn’t that bad. [Brad sees something off screen that scares him] Brad: Sweet mother fucking Mary! Jerrid: What? [Brad points off screen. Cut to a window of a house with a creepy painting of what appears to be a person] Jerrid: Oh Jesus Christ! Brad: I about shit my pants. Jerrid: I think I did shit my pants. Either that or my ass has food poisoning. Brad: What the fuck is that? Jerrid: Is it the Virgin Mary? Brad: I don’t think so; it could be some kind of art thing. [Cut back to the painting but closer this time] Jerrid (off screen): It’s kind of creepy looking. Brad: Your ass just vomited special dark and you’re only kind of creeped out. Jerrid: Okay, it’s freaking scary looking. Brad: Who do you think lives there? Jerrid: I have no fucking clue. Brad: Maybe if we keep coming back whoever lives there will start leaving us gifts in their tree. Jerrid: I bet we could get our friends drunk, bring them down here and convince them to worship it. Brad: You mean like Dave? Jerrid: Dave would just write a poem about it with his own tears. Brad: See, there you go. Or what if it’s some kind of World War Two remembrance thing? Wouldn’t that make this whole thing kind of tasteless? Jerrid: Well if that’s the case I’m already going to hell for shitting my pants in front of it. Brad: You’re right. Okay, I’ll round up the other guys. You buy some booze. Jerrid: Alright, let’s do this! Let’s start our own religion! [Both laugh and run off.] [Credits] The End
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