| rdfs:comment | - The Great Kelly was born under the name "Barbie," weighing 21 pounds, 11 ounces (16 pounds of which where tits) in a Boca Raton hospital on December 1st, 1986. She was a very large bundle of joy. She spent her childhood being raised by her father in Punjab, India. There, she found out that she was much different from other kids. Besides being a foot and a half taller than them, she tried her best efforts to fit in with the others, but they just called her a freak. By the time she was eleven, young Great Kelly was five feet tall. Many people mistook her for a sixteen year old.
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| abstract | - The Great Kelly was born under the name "Barbie," weighing 21 pounds, 11 ounces (16 pounds of which where tits) in a Boca Raton hospital on December 1st, 1986. She was a very large bundle of joy. She spent her childhood being raised by her father in Punjab, India. There, she found out that she was much different from other kids. Besides being a foot and a half taller than them, she tried her best efforts to fit in with the others, but they just called her a freak. By the time she was eleven, young Great Kelly was five feet tall. Many people mistook her for a sixteen year old. When walking home from the Punjabi jungle one day, she was kidnapped by a crazed ivory hunter in yellow clothing. The young ivory hunter kidnapped the Great Kelly and tied her up in a warehouse down by the river. It wasn't until Chuck Norris and Sage came to the rescue. Sage brandishing his chick magnet underwear (if you could smell it you'd understand) and Chuck waving his metal rose. The trauma of almost being raped drove the Great Kelly into a depression. She abandoned her Journalistic dreams and resorted to topless Exotic Dancing as a way for her to cope with the stress of nearly being raped by that yellow bastard. Although she was only sixteen, the Great Kelly looked much older due to her height, which was a staggering 6'4" at the time. Coined the name "GoddessZilla" in strip joints, she became an instant hit with the men, who up until then, had to resort to dealing with the second tallest stripper in the country, 5'10" Rebecca Romin. During her three year tenure with "Katy's" bar and strip club, The Great Kelly grew an additional twelve inches. When a famous American pornographic actor and tourist had visited Punjabi, India, he had heard a great legendary tale about the "World's Biggest Stripper," however did not believe the local wise man tales and had to see her for herself. Meanwhile, The Great Kelly was becoming fluent in English and had hoped to save up enough money to quit dancing and go to the United States and study Journalism at NYU. On her last week on the job, the American had came to Katy's, located in Deepest, Darkest Punjabi and was taken aback at what he saw: the most beautiful woman in the world. After her performance, he desperately tried to hit on the Great Kelly in the parking lot, and despite her size, she had needed no protection to accompany her home. The American man begged and pleaded with her to consider joining him on his way back home. The Great Kelly said No, however, saying how bad she was at relationships with men(she crushed them under her 7 foot 4 body) and that her low IQ caused her to lose attention in different men quickly. It wasn't until her would-be suitor said how he came from the United States did he finally manage to peak The Great Kelly's interest. She joined him on his way back home to the United States. And this mysterious American man would go by the name of Adam Sandler.
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