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  • Jebus Khrist
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  • His appearance appears to be a Jesus with evil, glowing red eyes, a distorted face, and evil teeth. This highly disturbs everyone who sees him apart from the Teletubbies (who occasionally watch him licking volcanic rock in agony). He grew up being beaten daily by the Teletubbies. He doesn't care though as he has no nerves in his body. His group of friends include Ben from Zelda, Mitt Romney, Thimper (despite their professional rivalry), a Monkey Creature whose greatest idol is Captain Falcon, a Magikarp who was too weak to even be accepted by his brethren, and a Mario Wiggler which has been recently diagnosed HIV positive.
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abstract
  • His appearance appears to be a Jesus with evil, glowing red eyes, a distorted face, and evil teeth. This highly disturbs everyone who sees him apart from the Teletubbies (who occasionally watch him licking volcanic rock in agony). He grew up being beaten daily by the Teletubbies. He doesn't care though as he has no nerves in his body. His group of friends include Ben from Zelda, Mitt Romney, Thimper (despite their professional rivalry), a Monkey Creature whose greatest idol is Captain Falcon, a Magikarp who was too weak to even be accepted by his brethren, and a Mario Wiggler which has been recently diagnosed HIV positive. He once tried to overthrow the Chinese government in 1978. Adolf Hitler helped in this task (even though he's dead), and they gained control of Western China for 8 years. After those 8 years Jesus said he had enough time playing his "little game" and Jesus bound him to prowl the gates of Hell. Today Jebus poses amazing powers that were granted to him by Albus Dumbledore. These powers allow him to get revenge on the Teletubbies over and over again. When he's not waging war on the Teletubbies, Jebus commands the Supreme Cork, a law-making (and enforcing) organization located on a giant, cosmic cork. This organization doesn't actually do anything, but at least they deserve some credit for their positive(?) attitude.