| abstract | - 'with Phineas and Ferb! Candace: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a talk show! / Isabella: Ladies and Gentlemen, Lazlow Jones! (Audience Applauds) Lazlow: Thank you! Phineas: Welcome to the show, Lazarus! Lazlow: It's Lazlow. Phineas: Sorry, your name just sounded similar to Lazarus. Lazlow: It's OK, a lot of people call me that, anyway. So, what's up? Phineas: Not much. But we are fans of your work in the GTA games! Lazlow: Of course, everyone loves my work, except for GTA IV & V. I hated listening to those talk shows, and so did the GTA fans in IV & V. Say, aren't you a little young to be playing the GTA games? Phineas: Yes, yes we are. Lazlow: Alright. Have you heard of the Lazlow Show? Phineas: No, I haven't. But I'll be sure to check it out in the future! Ferb: How long have you been working for Rockstar Games, anyway? On GTA games, that is? Lazlow: I've been working on Grand Theft Auto since 2001, when we made Grand Theft Auto III. I'm telling you, it's great working over at R*! Phineas: I loved playing the GTA games & listening to you. My sister, Candace, likes to turn on Chatterbox or V-Rock just to hear you while playing GTA 3 or Vice City. Lazlow: Is she a Grand Theft Auto fan? Phineas: You bet! Ferb: I've also heard that you had Reed Tucker occasionally voicing himself on some talk shows. Lazlow: That's right! Ferb: I always thought that Reed Tucker was fictional. Lazlow: Nope, he's real. OK, enough of that. I would love to play this recording of Chatterbox FM when I worked on Grand Theft Auto III in 2001. (pulls out a CD player, puts in the Chatterbox CD & selects "C.R.A.P. caller", then hits "Play") / Lazlow: Chatterbox, hello, you're on the air. Protestor: Uh, yeah. I'd like to say something about these damn people on trains & buses in this city, who yammer on & on into the cellphones, I'm really glad we get to hear about what you're having for dinner. What we should do is hurl them up and put them on an island. I am the president of the group called "Citizens Raging Against Phones". Lazlow: C.R.A.P.? Protestor: Exactly! Lazlow: Your organization is called "C.R.A.P.". What kind of a moron are you? You wanna round people up for using a phone? But you're calling up ON A PHONE to tell the world about it! I mean, how many people are there in this "C.R.A.P."? Protestor: Citizens are raging against phones, Lazlow! Lazlow: How many people? Protestor: There are three of us. It's hard organizing meetings without the phones, though. We had to resort to carry pigeons and they keep dissapearing. Lazlow: What are you speaking to me on? What-what's that in your hand? Protestor: I am not the problem. you are, and you're perpetuating the downfall of mankind! Liberty City was great, before phones ruined everything. Lazlow: Liberty City was a church, a cow pasture, and three houses when the telephone was invented! Protestor: LIAR! Lazlow: You're the liar! Protestor: Liar, liar, pants on fire! Lazlow: What are you? Are you-are you three years old? Protestor: Lazlow's a liar, Lazlow's a liar! I bet that isn't even your real name! Lazlow: Shut up! Protestor: You shut up! Lazlow: Stupid! Protestor: Nanny-nanny-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo! Lazlow: Ugh, we're going to commercials. / (Audience Laughs) Phineas: (laughing) Wow, that was great! Lazlow: Yeah. Here's another one of the greatest moments from Chatterbox, which has sort of become a running gag as the GTA games went on. In Vice City's K-Chat, Freddy calls up Gethsemanee Starhawk Moonmaker to spank him, and in San Andreas, he opened up a business called Hampshire Nannies. Let's hear it! (Selects "Freddy" then hits "Play") / Lazlow: All right, hello, you are on Chatterbox. Freddy: Hello Lazlow, I'm a first time caller. I recently moved to Liberty City from Hampshire, in England. Lazlow: Oh really? How do you like it? I mean, is it hard to get used to the language? You speak English pretty good! Freddy: Oh thank you Lazlow. Yes, I do like it here. There's one thing though that's very different and rather worrying. When I was a boy in England, I had a nanny. She was very strict, Lazlow. Lazlow: Yeah, well, I mean there's excellent child-care here in America, eh... You know? Freddy: Well, well I'm sure. But, but the thing is Lazlow, when, when, when I was a naughty boy, I, I, I... I would get spanked. Nanny... Nanny would spank me, when I was naughty, and now... Now Freddy needs a nanny, because when Freddy's naughty, he needs to get spanked. Lazlow: Well, there's some child psychologists, who'd probably say that spanking can be harmful to a child's emotional development. Freddy: Ab... Ab... Absolute rot, Lazlow. It's lovely. Freddy needs a nanny. He needs a nanny Lazlow, because Freddy's been a very naughty boy. Lazlow: How old is your son? Freddy: Excuse me? Lazlow: How old is your son? Freddy: I don't have children! I can't stand the little brats! But Freddy needs a nanny... Lazlow: All right, that's enough of him! God, who gave this guy a green card? / (Audience Laughs) Phineas: (Laughing) Good old Chatterbox! Lazlow: Fun fact: that Freddy caller was voiced by Dan Houser, who's the current Vice President of Rockstar Games. Phineas: Interesting. But, it looks like we're out of time for now, which is, a damn shame. Me & Ferb got really big plans for this talk show, we'll eventually bring it to a radio format sooner or later. Lazlow: Can I be a guest star? Phineas: Sorry, no. Lazlow: Oh well. Phineas: This has been Take Two with Phineas & Ferb, see you later! THE END
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