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| rdfs:comment | - The 1950s version of Andrews was run on paper punch cards. These were painstakingly clipped out by the "best boy" in the office of Liberal Party leader Robert Menzies and fed into a Burroughs adding machine located in the Andrews unit's rectum.
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| abstract | - The 1950s version of Andrews was run on paper punch cards. These were painstakingly clipped out by the "best boy" in the office of Liberal Party leader Robert Menzies and fed into a Burroughs adding machine located in the Andrews unit's rectum. Andrews is also programmed with a plethora of stock phrases that can be regurgitated when in autopilot mode, for instance when Howard is busy with the oral removal of faecal matter from George Bush's underpants. These phrases include "Stem cell research is a form of human trafficking", "Unions are dedicated to the destruction of Australian families" and "Immigration rates will always be lower under a Liberal government." The Andrews unit was beta-tested as a barrister before entering politics. Its unprompted quip of "Why destroy one person's dreams at a time when I can destroy 80 per cent of Australia's dreams with one piece of legislation?" is cited by some artificial intelligence researchers as evidence of independent thought, but was later explained away as a Menzies-era punch-card that had somehow resisted extraction from the unit's anus.
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