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  • Founding Fathers
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  • The Founding Fathers, otherwise known as Stephen Colbert, Richard Nixon, George Herbert Walker Bush, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Christopher Columbus and Jesus Christ founded America in 1492 B.C..
  • The Founding Fathers were the originators of the all-male society on the planet Athos and the creators of the Athos religion of God the Father. They founded the society about 200 years before the time of Miles Vorkosigan; just about the same time that Uterine Replicators were invented.
  • “This is highly distressing,” said James Hancock, head researcher of the study. “Kids are learning a hyperbolic and frankly often untrue history of the United States. For example, according to our results, over one-third of tenth-graders in the nation believe that George Washington had heat vision.” “With the resources we have, America’s schools should be the model for other countries to follow,” stated another researcher. “Instead France, Great Britain and the others are surely laughing at us. No one in England believes his or her country was created by a Superman.”
  • Thus, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon Church, view the Constitution of the United States as an inspired document, and the Founding Fathers of the United States of America as inspired men raised up by the Lord for a special purpose.
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dbkwik:uncyclopedia/property/wikiPageUsesTemplate
dbkwik:wikiality/property/wikiPageUsesTemplate
Revision
  • 251193
Date
  • 2005-11-04
abstract
  • The Founding Fathers, otherwise known as Stephen Colbert, Richard Nixon, George Herbert Walker Bush, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Christopher Columbus and Jesus Christ founded America in 1492 B.C..
  • Thus, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon Church, view the Constitution of the United States as an inspired document, and the Founding Fathers of the United States of America as inspired men raised up by the Lord for a special purpose. The principles and philosophies upon which the U.S. constitutional law is based are not simply the result of the best efforts of a remarkable group of brilliant men. They were inspired by God, and the rights and privileges guaranteed in the Constitution are God-given, not man-derived. The freedom and independence afforded by the Constitution and Bill of Rights are divine rights—sacred, essential, and inalienable. In the 98th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord indicates that the “law of the land which is constitutional, supporting that principle of freedom in maintaining rights and privileges, belongs to all mankind, and is justifiable before me” (Doctrine and Covenants 98:5). According to James Madison, often referred to as the father of the Constitution: “We have staked the whole future of American civilization not upon the power of the government—far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.” In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord said that he had “raised up … wise men” for the “very purpose” of writing the Constitution of the United States (Doctrine and Covenants 101:80). President George Albert Smith added, “I am saying to you that to me the Constitution of the United States of America is just as much from my Heavenly Father as the Ten Commandments” (Conference Report, April 1948, p. 182).
  • “This is highly distressing,” said James Hancock, head researcher of the study. “Kids are learning a hyperbolic and frankly often untrue history of the United States. For example, according to our results, over one-third of tenth-graders in the nation believe that George Washington had heat vision.” Participants in the study were given a battery of questions and tests to determine their level of knowledge with respect to Washington, Thomas Jefferson and other founders of the country. Results reveal that, among other statistics, 18% of all participants from sixth to twelfth grade think that John Hancock wrote the Declaration of Independence; slightly over one-half assert that Washington was the first president to take up residence in the White House; and about one in ten students believe that the Revolutionary War was won when several founders joined forces to form the American Justice Coalition, complete with colorful costumes for each member. “With the resources we have, America’s schools should be the model for other countries to follow,” stated another researcher. “Instead France, Great Britain and the others are surely laughing at us. No one in England believes his or her country was created by a Superman.”
  • The Founding Fathers were the originators of the all-male society on the planet Athos and the creators of the Athos religion of God the Father. They founded the society about 200 years before the time of Miles Vorkosigan; just about the same time that Uterine Replicators were invented.
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