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Ateneo de Manila University

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The Ateneo de Manila University (Ateneo for short) is the longest running Filipino sitcom-cum-so-called "educational institution" located at Loyola Heights, a disturbingly upscale subdivision located smack in the heart of Manila's festive Catholic ghetto district. It is also known as the nation's most prestigious parking lot. Founded in 1859 by a lost and drunken bunch of Jesuits who accidentally lost their map en route to propagate grapes in California, this overly pretentious university has been known to produce some of the most educated Filipino call center employees on graveyard shift, who use their spare time playing Minesweeper and Defense of the Ancients.

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The Ateneo de Manila University (Ateneo for short) is the longest running Filipino sitcom-cum-so-called "educational institution" located at Loyola Heights, a disturbingly upscale subdivision located smack in the heart of Manila's festive Catholic ghetto district. It is also known as the nation's most prestigious parking lot. Founded in 1859 by a lost and drunken bunch of Jesuits who accidentally lost their map en route to propagate grapes in California, this overly pretentious university has been known to produce some of the most educated Filipino call center employees on graveyard shift, who use their spare time playing Minesweeper and Defense of the Ancients. As a predominantly Catholic institution, Ateneo's so-called "educational system" (ha ha!) is guided mostly by nuns with wooden rulers, who wander like those strange guys in the "Dark City" movie, waiting to devour easy prey who attempt to run in the hallways. Legend among students, however, states that the true power behind the institution's fiendish operations is the mummified body of Ignatius of Loyola, who has his very own air-conditioned crypt underneath the campus. Other rumors state Loyola had been known to once upon a time help finance the founding of Ateneo by stealing more than half of De La Salle University's basketball scholarship funds.