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Non-Canon: An Interview with Fay

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Fay: Frankly right now, with the price of flax as it is, it's finding a top that actually fits. Now actually saying that makes me happy. It's not often you have such a great set of girls who have swept up this region so nicely that, and I think it's a great thing, it's so peaceful that even the Ice Plains are relaxing. Actually that reminds me, we [the Queens and I] are planning a summer blockbuster for next year - I absolutely, absolutely promise I won't take anybody home with me.

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Fay

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A portrait of Fay

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Fay

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Villa, Area 13

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Fay: Frankly right now, with the price of flax as it is, it's finding a top that actually fits. Now actually saying that makes me happy. It's not often you have such a great set of girls who have swept up this region so nicely that, and I think it's a great thing, it's so peaceful that even the Ice Plains are relaxing. Fay: You'd be surprised, up here it gets to like 70 or 80 [21 or 27] particularly in June-July, so all the snow just melts. Sadly the summer's pretty short, and actually they're calling for snow sometime this weekend. Come back in like a month and you're gonna have to bring a heavy coat. Actually that reminds me, we [the Queens and I] are planning a summer blockbuster for next year - I absolutely, absolutely promise I won't take anybody home with me. Fay: Oh, I don't know. Like seventy or so? Including one, and I will never forget her, and she stayed with me for just one night, but I think she was some sort of divine being. Going to keep her anonymous obviously, but we're great friends. Fay: No, for one reason, the Demons don't really like me right now. Now to be fair, they hate pretty much everyone, rest assured that everyone from the cats all the way up to goldy would be...brought down to heel. Big time. So that's why I'm taking us towards you guys. Fay: ...he sucks. Just, like, stop taking my Gold and ransacking the Villa, would be nice. I'll put myself in the Library if you need me to, but someone tell him to leave us alone. Fay: I've never heard of that, and whoever thinks so has never seen me naked. Now I have to say since you brought them up, I have a friendly rivalry with this one particular Seraph, I nicknamed her Ms. Whitewings, and she's been coming up here for like...seven or eight years. She might, might be a personal assistant to the Snow Queen or something, who I'm pretty good pals with too, and so you know, that's how I first saw her, she was right by her side and she looked up at me and fired a small white beam above my head. So then I threw a Lightning at her which caused the Snow Queen to get really mad and threw a Blue Beam at me, and I got knocked out from that for a few hours. Fay: A couple years ago I went with a small diplomatic corps to the eastern port city. It's a great place, are you from there? Interviewer: I live a bit south, so pretty much. We were trying to get into the federation, but unfortunately we couldn't work out the full details, I think they want us to release the Imps and there's absolutely no way we can do that. Literally all they do is break in to places and more than half the time they'll just burn the thing down before they loot anything. Yeah, they're idiots, but they're also fun. Most of the time. About five years ago we were having a party at the Villa, and this one Imp got stuck in a crack in the wall. When he pulled himself out, he accidentally shot a missile. Hit me right in the left breast, and it stung for like three days afterward. So, no more Imps on the island. Could you imagine if they were left to their own devices? We'd have the majority of the eastern forest destroyed within the week. Anyway, so while we were there we got a huge bag of...is it Calamari, is that what it's called? The octopus-looking things. Absolutely. Amazing. It's a shame none of those creatures live up in the north. Now that I think about it, why doesn't anyone try to fish these waters...but I'm getting off track, next question please. Fay: Hey, I didn't get all the way up here, killed Lilith and to be working out relations with twenty different races with my body objecting...did I? Quick tip, focus on my face and then ask the question. (Fay winks)