| rdfs:comment
| - Schools in Malaysia educate the children primarily about the smatijove, and also to become high achievers; eg. to be able to create the HIGHEST pile of pirated VCDs, the LONGEST line of cows, or even the BIGGEST Ramly burger. To achieve the best of the best results, school children are made to carry huge bags containing books that must weigh at least 57% of said child's own body weight. This builds up their back muscles and backbone so that they will not only look great, but have excellent overall posture. If you disagree with this, you are not patriotic! Note that much like in the military, students are required to wake up at 0600 hours every day. Uniforms are specially designed for dual purposes: firstly, to look as unattractive as humanly possible (because to have clothes that actually
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| abstract
| - Schools in Malaysia educate the children primarily about the smatijove, and also to become high achievers; eg. to be able to create the HIGHEST pile of pirated VCDs, the LONGEST line of cows, or even the BIGGEST Ramly burger. To achieve the best of the best results, school children are made to carry huge bags containing books that must weigh at least 57% of said child's own body weight. This builds up their back muscles and backbone so that they will not only look great, but have excellent overall posture. If you disagree with this, you are not patriotic! Note that much like in the military, students are required to wake up at 0600 hours every day. Uniforms are specially designed for dual purposes: firstly, to look as unattractive as humanly possible (because to have clothes that actually fit would be a sin, although some die-hard Malaysians claim that the normal uniform, which covers all parts of the body except the face and the hands, is already far too sexy). The uniform also functions as a portable torture device, trapping students in their own body heat in a country that is already close to 38°C on a normal day. Some schools go the extra mile by forcing some to wear blazers on top of their uniform. Efficiency of the uniform is maximized by strict rules against untucked shirts or rolled-up sleeves. Name tags are also utilized so that teachers don't actually have to remember your name. The teachers in school have total control of you. They can whip, rotan, and smack you like there's no tomorrow when you do something stupid, such as forgetting to bring your name tag. No, you cannot sue a teacher, because your parents will never be on your side. Rest assured, though, that students do fight back. A popular way of coping with disciplinary action is to take drugs in the toilet, go back to the teacher's office and stab the teacher with a pair of scissors (I am not kidding). The education system will at one point stream the children according to what they're "good at". Children who are weird or nerdy will be streamed towards science, while those who are too stupid to amount to anything useful will be streamed to the arts. Those who are only good at sports... well, who cares. As you can see, the Malaysian education system is kind enough to dictate your future for you. In accordance with the institutionalized racism practiced in Malaysia (officially known as "Bumiputra Rights", where special privileges are given to the majority of the population), exam scores do not actually matter in examinations. Often you will see non-bumiputra students getting 7A's for their SPM (the Malaysian equivalent of the SAT's) finally working as pirated vcd sellers, while bumiputra students are given a free ride to study overseas, with their single A's. Malaysia is a one-of-a-kind country; it is probably the only place in the world where one has to fill in their race when sitting for a public examination. Upon writing 'bumiputra', you are automatically granted sixty marks. Bizarrely, non-bumiputras generally still manage to get the highest scores in the country. After School Tuition is a must, as school teachers are generally too incompetent to teach their students anything useful. All Malaysian students must go to tuition classes to get the latest leaks in exams. The education system of Malaysia is unique, being the only system in the world to penalize high achievers and reward idiots. Brains are exported overseas while the least brightest are nurtured locally, which is the main reason why Malaysians will be unable to differentiate between left and right by 2020. All Malaysians attend 11 years of compulsory brainwashing at government facilities called public schools. Upon graduating, ethnic Malays either enroll in top-quality world class Malaysian universities or creativity classes such as The Art of Mat Rempit and The Basics of Porno DVD Production, while non-Malays generally get the fuck out of the country.
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