| abstract
| - The Swordfish - Casino Inside the casino of the Swordfish, various colors of lights illuminate. Red velvet carpeting covers the floor while holographic portraits of different intergalactic celebrities engulf the white marble walls. The ceiling is light up with crystal chandeliers. At the center of it all, a holographic green alien lounge singer impersonating Elvis sings before a captive audience. Several typical game tables made of mahogany wood are swarmed by lifeforms from all over trying to win the grand prize. The games range from Black Jack to the vast different forms of Poker. The dealers come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. A security team of androids called the Ultrons watch over the area; to prevent card counting and make sure if in the event is needed, they are there. The wait staff is made up of what looks like a pink sponge creature with two white eyes and sharp teeth housed sitting inside the chest area of steel humanoid exosuits wearing black velvet jackets with white collars. They are moving very fast to get the beverages to the patrons. Near the far end, several electronic game stations sound off as the patrons play and gamble in the slot machines. Some overly large view screens are mounted around while bookies take bets for the Olympic games. Contents: Backfire Fender Dart Board Deck of Cards Obvious exits: Out leads to The Swordfish - Coliseum. Fender The bartender of the Milk Bar is a huge, stocky alien with a gigantic handlebar moustache. Like most races in the galaxy, he is Transformer-sized and he has a stern yet friendly grin as he patrols his bar. He wears a smart waistcoat and bow-tie, and he has a towel over his shoulder for cleaning glasses. To order a drink type: +order Blades has arrived. Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1 Iroquois mode. Buzzsaw has arrived. A busy casino isn't the first place to come to mind when picking places to fight but the Olympics is funny that way. In the back of the room amidst the hustle and bustle of the casino and sitting awkwardly at a Blackjack table is Rack'N'Ruin. They seem to be enjoying themselves. "Hey, this is great but you know what would make this better?" Rack (or maybe Ruin, who cares) says to his brother. Ruin (or maybe rack, again, who cares) just shrugs. "A sexy woman. Like that one!" The freakish siamese twin-bot reaches out and grabs the arm of a passing robot clad in pink paint and looking fiiine. "Hey baby, you ever do it with a freak before?" The sexy woman robot turns around, staring down at the two with her boxy face and single eye. Wait.. "It's me, guys," says none other than Whirl, greatest Wrecker ever .Rack'N'Ruin begin gagging and just generally being very insensitive. "W-what the hell are you doing dressed up like that!?" "Oh well, you know.. I wanted to freak out that seeker guy. He'll never expect to be fighting a guy dressed like a woman, it will totally mess with his head!" Torque has arrived. Bell UH-1 Iroquois transforms into his Blades mode. Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule! Bending low to set down a drink, an equally pink painted sexy robot plinks down a drink for the Wrecker siamese twin thing.. then smiles at the pair. "Thanks for the tip, sugah!" it winks, the goofy Elita One headress thing falling over 'her' optics. Standing up at full, Backfire fixes his disguise.. then eyes Whirl, who is also dressed up as a smexy woman. "What the hell are you doing dressed up as a femme? That's -my- thing!" he rages, pretty insistent that he is the Queen of Drag around these here parts. The Seeker also tosses the serving tray to the ground, for good measure. Blades is forced to admit. "Whirl. You are looking... pretty fly. So you're going to /ruin/ this Seeker, right?" Blades has been playing some poker in the casino. He is disppointed that poker doesn't actually involve any poking. Especially not with knives. Repugnus has arrived. Flapflapflapflapflap. That is the sound of DOOM. Or, in this case, Buzzsaw. The vulture-bot lands on a table near the fight, and stares at Whirl dressed up as a femme. And then stares at Backfire...also dressed up as a femme. The cassette looks back and forth a few times, then ducks his head, covering it with a wing. "Just...just go fight each other. Please. Because the sooner one of you wins, the sooner I can go ask Soundwave to delete this entire evening from my memory banks." "Of course I'm going to ruin him! He'll be completely dumbstruck when he sees me like this, leaving him vulnerable and easy for me to exploit. It's the perfect plan!" And it really is, until Whirl turns around and stands face to face with his opponent who just so happens to also be dressed as a sexy pink robot. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, you don't look half bad. Very convincing. Very sexy." Whirl adjusts the Princess Leia/Arcee head buns taped to the sides of his head. "But I'm sexier. Wooooooooooo!" Blades looks Backfire over and decides, "Right. I'm going to order a pool full of Jell-O in here." He steps aside to go talk to a casino waiter. If Blades can't take an awful situation and make it worse, he's doing something wrong. "You really think so?" Backfire gushes, putting one arm behind his head and the other resting down on his hip. "I mean, for being a butch femme.. I think I made this costume work, check out these heels!" the Seeker points to the cosmetic 'shoes' he taped onto his Seeker feet. Then Whirl goes and insists he's the hot chick. "Ha, you wish. I'm much sexier than you, and I know it!" he does the 'arrogant chick' thing of snaping his finger three times in a zig-zag pattern in front of him while swaying his hips. Torque is still rather.. confused as to why the fight this evening is being held in a casino of all places. But it's not like she's complaining, the femme content to gamble away a few credits and down a few drinks before heading to the cleared area where the battle will take place. Taking a seat at a blackjack table-turned-spectator seating, Torque can't help but.. stare at the fighters for tonight, a sigh escaping her as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "Ugh.. What in Primus' name is wrong with those mechs." But despite their antics, she's still eager to see a brawl, the medic cupping a hand at one side of her mouth and calling out, "C'mon Whirl! Hurry up and kick his aft!" Fusillade has arrived. Buzzsaw vaults over to the Spectator Table with Torque, normal antagonism for Autobots forgotten in his horror at the fight unfolding in front of him. "I just...what. I don't know what's /with/ those two. I mean, Backfire's a fool, of course, but..gaaaaaaaaah." Shuddering, Buzzsaw spots a waiter and clacks his beak at him imperiously. "You! Servbot! Bring me the strongest container of enerhol you can, cut with your second strongest." Shuddering as he waits for his drink, Buzzsaw reluctantly turns back to the 'fight'. "Oh god now they think they're femme fighting." Whirl takes Backfire's snapping fingers as a sign of aggression and reacts accordingly, by pulling the earrings maglocked to his head off and handing them to Rack'n'Ruin (who are still horrified by the realization that the woman they were hitting on turned out to be Whirl.) "Hold my earrings, this bitch is going down." The currently pink Whirl steps up to the also currently pink Backfire and stares him down through that lovely red optic of his for a few seconds before swinging his arm to give the Seeker a nice slap across the face with his freaky pincher hand. Combat: Whirl strikes Backfire with his Bitch Slap (Punch) attack! Blades is talking with a casino waiter, who looks perplexed and mildly alarmed. The waiter tries to say clearly, "But... we don't /have/ 'inflatable Olympic swimming pool full of Jell-O' on the menu," but Blades will have none of it, insisting, "Oh come on, I know you keep these novelty things around under the table. Because if not, we can talk about your cakes. Which are a lie, I may add. Do you want that news coming out, hmm? That your cakes are a lie?" Backfire's head is whipped sideways, spinning the Elita One headdress a couple of inches and he staggers back a step or two. Reflexively a hand goes to the side of his face, his head slowly comes back around to face girl-Whirl. "How DARE you?" he almost cries, obviously too much into character. Looking down in a bit of remorse, Backfire notices something.. HORRIFYING! "You bitch, you broke my high-heel!" he shouts, taking one off and rushing toward the Wrecker. "You know how HARD it was to find ones that COMFY??" Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Backfire strikes Whirl with his Broken Heel Clubbing (Kick) attack! Whirl tries to get out of the way when Backfire charges at him like some kind of crazy, crossdressing weirdo but he's just not quick enough. "Ugh! You're such a liar!" He gets smacked in the head over and over again with the heel, denting his armor but more importantly knocking his knockoff Arcee headbuns off. "These heels aren't comfy at all!" As he continues to get clobbered by a poorly made piece of footwear, Whirl reaches out for the closest thing he can grab to smack Backfire over the head with. Conveniently enough, it turns out to be a wooden chair that will splinter into a magnificent mess upon impact. Torque doesn't seem bothered with Buzzsaw taking up a spot beside her, though his request of highgrade to a waiter has the femme raising a brow. "Can a tape even handle that strong of a drink?" She doesn't wait long for an answer however, the first strike from Whirl catching her attention. Sadly it's only a slap, and Backfire just goes about retaliating with a shoe. "What kinda fighting is that? We wanna see some real punches and explosions, not this weak stuff!" Torque calls out to the two, having come to see an actual fight. Not two mechs in drag slap each other a bit. Though to be fair, that is somewhat entertaining. Knocked senseless, well.. you probably need sense in the first place to be knocked senseless, Backfire twirls in the air like a dreidel top and lands with a *SHAR-ACK* right on the table occupied by Torque and Buzzsaw. Rising wearily, the Seeker shakes his head back and forth to gain his bearings. "Fear not, small casseticon.. I shall show this HARLOT what real strength is!" he smiles, then catches a glimpse of Torque. In Backfire imaginary world, in which little miniature Backfire guardian angels pop up on his shoulders and give him advice, small lasercores float above his head while his optics take the shapes of hearts. The simpleton almost flutters towards her, as if manuevered by little anklet wings and playing a harp. In the real world, he's just sorta staring at her large hands for awhile. Snapping out of it, he smiles. "Hey, check this out!" he smiles all creepily while firing a laser without looking at Whirl. "So, you come here often? Oh, where are my manners! The name is former Aerospace Captain Backfire, currently the PINNACLE of FOOLS." He does all this, still in Elita One drag.. of course. Combat: Backfire misses Whirl with his Trick Shot! (Pistol) attack! Blades continues to argue with the waiter, "Look, just cover the floor with Jell-O and blame it on the Hwkkians. They leave slime trails. It'll be great, trust me!" The waiter does not think Blades looks very trustworthy. Buzzsaw shakes his head at the slaps and the chair, shrugging at Torque. "I probably can't. That's the point." Buzzsaw doesn't elaborate as Backfire lands on the table, but he does look up at him as he stares at Torque. Then he looks back at Whirl. Then, Buzzsaw just folds a wing over his head again at Backfire's antics. "Yeeeeah...Trust us, he really is the pinnacle of Fools." Sighing, the cassetticon hops over to his large drink, still watching the fight in between dipping his beak into the large shallow mug, then popping up to watch the fight. Then dip down, drink, pop up... Buzzsaw has activated his DIPPING BIRD mode! Torque leans away quite a bit when Backfire lands on the gambling table she sits at, almost jumping from her chair. When the seeker finally gathers himself together again and starts to stare at her hands, which are normal sized damnit, the femme just sort of blinks in return before quirking a brow. "Uhh.. Right. Good to meet you, Backfire.." She doesn't exactly feel the need to introduce herself as well, because c'mon, he's a Con. So instead she jabs a thumb at Whirl. "Shouldn't you be, y'know, beating the crap out've each other? I mean, that's what we all came to see, really." Whirl makes absolutely no attempt to move and still Backfire misses him. He's probably just so shocked by Torque's hands that it's messing with his aim or something, Whirl knows that we've all been there. The laser goes right past him and hits Rack'N'Ruin right in the chest, knocking him (them?) right out of his (their?) seat. Whirl just looks at them and shrugs. They'll be fine. "Hey man, it's not cool to hit on people in the middle of a fight." Whirl begins sprinting towards where Backfire is currently harassing his fellow Autobot, which is kind of impressive when you remember that his feet are essentially giant skis and not really feet at all, and then hurls himself at the seeker. "It's not like you have a chance anyway since I'm LEAGUES sexier than you'll ever be! I mean, come on, what are you trying to pull with that ghastly shade of pink you're wearing?" Combat: Whirl strikes Backfire with his B-B-Body Slam! (Smash) attack! "GHASTLY?" Backfire shrieks, then is promptly pancakced by the incoming Wrecker. While the two mechs dressed in drag roll around, Backfire continues their girlish combat banter. "I'll have you know that this shade is very SLIMMING, cow!" While wrestling, he tries to look at Torque.. but can't stop staring at her hands, which he finds uniquely attractive. "Oh right, I suppose you came here to watch ME.. BACKFIRE, vanquish this pup." he smiles, whipping out his Hypno-Ray Rifle and priming a charge. "I strenously DOUBT you have enough of a processor to effect, but here goes!" he shouts, pulling the trigger on the ray gun.. a wave of green pulses emit from the little bobber thingie at the end. Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Backfire strikes Whirl with his INSANE IN THE BRAIN attack! Blades. which was to wait for someone to put their hand in front of their face, then punch it so you smacked them hard in the nose." Galvatron has arrived. +POT Galvatron is now observing. Whirl wrestles around on the floor with Backfire but it's all very manly and serious, just ignore the fact they're supposed to be dressed like women as if that's even possible. "Did you just call me a cow?" Some more sexy-but-not-that-kind-of-sexy-come-on-you-guys wrestling ensues, Whirl gets shot by some ridiculous looking weapon and suddenly his mind gets all blurry and weird. Well, blurrier and weirder than usual, this is Whirl we're talking about. The Wrecker scrambles to get up onto his feet, throwing an arm on top of the table Torque and Buzzkill are sitting at and pulling himself up. He stares at the two of them with a strange intensity burning in his optic, almost as if his processor is working overtime just to recognize them. Actually, that's exactly what's happening. What are you supposed to be, some kind of bat? Are you Ratbat? You SUCK, Ratbat!" He points and laughs at what he thinks is Buzzsaw but he's actually pointing at an empty chair. "Now excuse me, I have to beat up some skanky ho-bag." He charges up his weapon (which is convieniently attached to where his hand should be) and starts firing wildly in random directions. "Yeaaahhh!" What the hell did Backfire shoot him with? Combat: Whirl's WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN attack on Backfire goes wild! Combat: Whirl strikes Repugnus with his WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN attack! Repugnus just happened to be walking in to see what's going on when he catches a laser blast to the face. "AAGGGGH what the hell!?" Blades returns with a robot-sized kiddie pool full of Jell-O just in time to see Repugnus shot in the face. His optics light up, and Blades enthuses, "This may be the best day ever." Torque watches Whirl go about being crazier than normal. Or maybe just about the same? Who knows. But when that shot goes wild and blasts a rather conveinient Repugnus in the face, the femme can't help slapping a hand atop the table and laughing heartily. "Ha! Nice shot, Whirl! Ah, now this is the kinda fight I came to see." Craning her head she waves down a nearby waiter. "Waiter, need a refill over here!" Buzzsaw . . .'s at the Wrecker's misidentification, then shakes his head before burying his beak in his drink, guzzling the rest of it. Burping loudly, the (Now Wasted) cassetticon drunkenly flys to perch on a chair. He misses, landing on Torque's shoulder for a moment, before Whirl starts shooting random bystanders. This seems unusually hilarious to the cassette, who starts laughing so hard he falls off of his current perch, landing on the ground with a loud 'THUD'. A few moments later, the table cloth is mauled by the drunken vulture pulling himself back up onto the table, lazily hanging off the edge by his beak and mumbling as he watches the Ultimate Duel of Ultimate Foolery....and then the Jello shows up. Oh dear. Blowing non-existant smoke from the tip of his weapon, Backfire cackles when Whirl's efforts work against him.. ending in Repugnus' getting blasted! "Ahahahaha, you couldn't live in MY WORLD for ten astroseconds!" the Seeker shouts, pointing to his head. Then Torque laughs, and obviously he thinks it's about him. Straightening up, Backfire takes to the skies with the help of his anti-gravs and fires off a shot from his shoulder ray-guns. "Let me know when you've finally returned to your sanity.. if you EVER DO!!" Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Backfire misses Whirl with his Pew Pew! (Laser) attack! Repugnus rubs his smoking face as he takes a seat next to wherever Torque is sitting. "Eeesh. Bastard musta done it purpose." When Whirl actually hits something, he spins around to get a good look on the poor sap but gasps when he sees who it is. "Oh shi-, sorry Kup! It was an accident, I swear!" He tilts his head to the side a bit as his head begins to clear up and he realizes who he really hit. "Oh wait, forget it. It's just Repugnus." The Wrecker's confusion couldn't have worn off at a better time because just as he regains his surroundings, the seeker goes airborne and starts shooting at him again. "What are you trying to imply, Backfire? Are you trying to say I'm crazy or something? Is that what you're getting at?" He fires some zappy lasers at Backfire from his hand/scary black box thing. No, I'm saying you're not CRAZY enough!" Backfire whines, landing ontop of a casino table. "Wow, you're like paranoid man.. do you want to talk about it?" the Seeker shrugs, jumping off the table and walking up to the Wrecker. "I mean, I'm pretty misunderstood too.. it could help to have another audio receptor to listen, you know what I mean?" he holds up his hands, still walking meagerly forward. The palms of his hands emit a sickly green glow, still held skyward to lessen whatever threat (if any) the Autobot might feel towards his conduct. "Do you have origin issues.. did your maker forsake you.. did he have one optic too?" Backfire coos, a sly grin playing on his face. "If he did, he wouldn't have seen THIS coming EITHER!!" the simpleton shouts, palms thrust forward and a shower of toxic plasma charged energon pours forth. Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Backfire misses Whirl with his Tainted Love! attack! Repugnus gives Buzzsaw an odd look before turning back to the fight. "Come on, Whirl, FINISH HIM! You owe me after you SHOT MY FREAKING FACE." Blades heckles, "Fixed wing aircraft are for losers!" at Backfire, and then he fakes being confused, rubbing the back of his helmet, and asks, "But don't you have some spare faces, anyway, Repugnus?" Repugnus thinks of his collection of Decepticon faces. "Yeah, sorta." Blades tries to nudge Repugnus and encourages, "C'mon, put on one of your spare faces. Like Mardi Gras. Only better." Buzzsaw ignores Repubgnus' odd look. Buzzsaw is busy. Busy being drunk, having consumed enough overly strong Enerhol that by the time this evening is over, the only memory he will have will be far less traumatizing than crosdressed Wreckers and Backfire. Mwhahahah, this is a plan that cannot go wrong at all! Repugnus whines, "But I don't have them heeere." Blades uuughs and shakes his head in pity. "Slag. That's rough. Hey. I have to fight Mindwipe. Think I can steal his head?" Not crazy enough? Whirl is going to have to change that, it's never a good thing for his reputation when people start saying things like that, maybe it's time he steps it up a notch. He lets Backfire go on and ask his silly yet eerily factual questions, just staring at him with his single glowing optic. It's always staring with him but only because he doesn't really have a choice, you can't exactly gaze wistfully with the set up he has going on. "Ooohhh, I see what you're trying to do," the Wrecker says as he ducks away from Backfire's creepy hand trick. "You're trying to get into my head, aren't you? Think you can get inside there and shake me up? Get me scared?" He backs up and pulls a convieniently placed dart board off the wall, holding it tight in his pincher hand. "I don't think you could handle what goes on inside my head, it's kind of a scary place. Sometimes I do things.." He slams the dartboard into his face with a loud CRUNCH. "I don't really know why.." He does it again, this time hard enough to crack his optic and dent his 'face' inwards. "I just can't help it!" Again, he hits himself with the dartboard. And again and again until finally his face is a crumpled mess, at which point he just throws it onto the ground. "Uuuuugh yes! That feels AMAZING. I AM SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW!" Combat: Whirl strikes himself with his Not Crazy Enough (Smash) Blades gets a page. Oh, a Nebulan tourist kid has his head stuck in a garbage chute? Sounds like a job for... the Protectobots! Sigh. Blades excuses himself but warns, "Whirl, you had /better/ out-crazy that Seeker. I am watching you." He points two fingers at his optics and then at Whirl, but when he points at Whirl, he only uses one finger. Then he leaves. Simply standing there, Backfire has an almost aghast look smeared on his face.. like he's watching something of the most despicable fashion unfolding before his optics. Whirl saunters over to the dartboard, and REPEATEDLY smashes himself over the face with it. An imaginary lightbulb appears over Backfire's head, as his look of surprise is replaced with a grin. And so he steps over towards Buzzsaw again. "Okay, I need a ruling. OBVIOUSLY that dartboard contains some sort of ILLEGAL accelerant of which he JUST used. Is he thrown out or not? Because if not, I'm SMASHING my face off the dartboard next!!" To Torque, he sits down beside her and makes a play to take her hands in his. "Did you see me out there? Exhilirating, wasn't it? Ready to join the EMPIRE??" Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Backfire takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass] Repugnus, even though he isn't the judge, says, "Nah, he's not thrown out. In fact, YOU'RE thrown out because you left the ring! Jerk!" Buzzsaw blinks, and scrambles up onto the table, claws digging gouges into it as he blearily stares at Backfire, then at Whirl, then back to Backfire. "...Ummm...one second." Scrambling over to a nearby table, Buzzsaw drags a large book (Tis as big as he is) over and drops it, then kicks it open and starts paging through pages with his /beak/. "Okay...Umm...Let's see...Yeah, rules say it counts as a terrain obstacle. Smash yourself in the face with it. Go nuts." The drunken bird also points a wing at Repugnus threateningly. "HEY! YOU TWO! STOP INTERFERIN'! AH'M THE JUDGE HERE! HIC!" "Ring?" Backfire replies to Repugnus, "I OWN THE SKIES, AUTOBUTT!" To Whirl, "Dude, that totally does roll off the tongue easier." Oh how tempted Torque is to to knock Backfire right off that chair when he actually tries to hold her hands. Instead she snatches them away from his grasp, leaning waaay closer to Repugnus, her only (unfortunately) saving grace at this moment. "Errr... Exhilarating, yeah. ..How about more fighting, and we can talk later?" Dear Primus, anything to just get him away right now. Whirl wipes some energon from the horrible mess that is his face right now with the back of his arm. "Mmm yesss, really gets the adrenaline pumping, makes me feel like a whole new mech! You really should try it!" He pulls another dart board off the wall much to the chagrin of the people who were using it and turns it over in his pinchery claw hand, examining it for anything he would deem an imperfection. "This one looks like it'll work." He then saunters his way over to where Backfire is putting his best moves on Torque "Oh, come on, are you really trying to hit on her again? I know we're fighting and everything but between you and me you could definitely do better, don't even bother man." He'd wink at Torque if he could but he can't so he just tries to clobber Backfire over the head for her instead. Combat: Whirl strikes Backfire with his Dart Board'd (Punch) attack! Repugnus leans into Torque while Backfire gets beaned, and waggles optic ridges at her. Rising, Backfire braces for impact. "Okay, wait.. what kinda extra powers should I expect?" Without an answer, he's bashed over the head with a dartboard.. which totally doesn't do anything, but drop him to the floor with a headache. "GAH, I don't feel anymore special!" Jumping to his feet, Backfire dashes back from the Wrecker and whips a rocket launcher up to his shoulder. "Why would you do that, why would you bash YOUR OWN face in??" the Seeker asks the Wrecker, both of them still dressed up as femmes. A rocket exiting the launcher breaks the silence. Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Backfire strikes Whirl with his Rock-It Lawn-Chair attack! Buzzsaw grumbles drunkenly as the fight continues, and decides he needs a better view. height's a good thing, right? Right. This explains how come Buzzsaw stalks over to Torque and Repugnus, glares drunkenly up at Pug, and then flaps his wings as he vaults up onto Torque's shoulder. Flapping them again as he flips around, the vulture bot has drunkenly forgotten he's perching on Autobots now, nodding in some satisfaction as the fight continues. Any other annoyances inflicted by this are just a bonus! Squaaaawk! Repugnus snickers. "You got promoted, Torque! All hail Torque, our new leader!" Whirl doesn't say anything, even after Backfire whips out that rocket launcher of his and points it right at him. What can he say? It's not like he can go 'oh yeah, I did it to totally throw you off,' that completely ruins the whole point, and he can't crack a joke either because he can't think of a good one right now. And so Whirl just stands there, bracing himself as the rocket sails towards him and explodes in a firey mess. His chest, which is comprised almost entirely by the glass cockpit of his helicopter mode, is blown apart; shards of glass and chunks of pink painted armor flying all over the place. The Wrecker stumbles backwards until he hits a table at which point he reaches out an arm and steadies himself against it. "Good shot. I was starting to fear that I'd be the only one kicking my ass tonight." He cracks a few shots at Backfire from his awesome hand-gun that was totally not inspired by Shockwave, not at all. Combat: Whirl sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Whirl misses Backfire with his Shockwave Didn't Invent Gun Hands attack! "What, I've been beating you up ALL NIGHT!" Backfire rages, the other heel on his shoe snapping in a strut towards Whirl.. causing him to stumble to the ground and fall on his face. "Oooof." he lets out, then spies a casino chip. As it happens, the bad luck actually allowed him to dodge the incoming shots from the Wrecker. "Hey, look what I found!" Backfire gleefully declares, looking between the smoking gun barrel and the bored shot holes behind him. "I mean, AHAHAHAHA. You cannot HOPE to hit me with such an afront!" the Seeker shouts, again taking to the skies cautiously and firing off some shots from his arm-rays. Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Backfire strikes Whirl with his Pew Pew! (Laser) attack! "Beating me up? Is that what you think you've been doing?" Whirl takes a moment to laugh at that, and also to get shot up by seeker arm-rays but they don't really seem to bother him too much. He just got blown up by a rocket, everything after that is easy sauce. "I've paid people to kick my ass harder than you've been doing, don't give yourself so much credit." Whirl kicks a leg into the air but obviously he's not trying to kick Backfire (that would just be silly) he's actually taking aim with the Paralyzo-Box attached to his leg. Why does he keep it there anyway, seems like kind of a weird place, right? Well, it's not like he can hold it or anything, guy doesn't really have hands so he has to improvise. Or maybe he just likes kicking energy beams at people. Combat: Whirl sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Whirl strikes Backfire with his Paralyzo-Box attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Backfire's Agility. (Crippled) Backfire is KICKED with an energy beam. KICKED. Does Whirl have ENERGY legs?? Why the hell doesn't Backfire have ENERGY LEGZ?? This doesn't make any sense. "GAH, what the hell??" Backfire croaks out, landing to the ground with a thunk. The attack didn't.. what the hell? It didn't really hurt, but his manuevering systems seem to be lagging like all get out. "What the frak was that about?" he sneers, charging another shot of his potent toxic energon. "Who the heck has laser beam kicks? Like, that makes less sense than my zombie sword.. or my nonsensical lasercore." he actually truthfully reports, Shockwave isn't really sure how it works. It just does. Before much more thought can be attributed to it, Backfire shoots off a blast. Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Backfire strikes Whirl with his Energon-gasm attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Whirl's Agility. (Crippled) "I could ask you the same thing," Whirl says as he's assaulted by mysterious toxic energon. "For example, what was that all about just now? Do you have acidic blood or something? Are you part space toad and have the ability to secrete poison?" He's not even going to ask about the zombie sword or the lasercore business. "You're kind of a freak, aren't you, Backfire? It's okay man, no judgement here. I'm still going to shoot you as if you were a normal guy." And he does just that, shooting at Backfire with some pew pew pew lasers. Combat: Whirl strikes Backfire with his No Judgement Lasers (Laser) attack! The shot bores a hole through his shoulder, Backfire winces and limps forward. "Heh, so says the GUY in the Arcee costume." the Seeker laughs at Whirl's 'freak' comment, then remembers his costume. "Oh, well.. umm." he's kinda stumped. "Space toad? Noooooooooooo." Backfire considers, another shot strumming from his arm-laser things. He should really get around to assimilating some of Fireback's arsenal. "But that would be cool, would I have an extra long whiptongue attack with my tongue??" Combat: Backfire misses Whirl with his Return of the Pew! (Laser) attack! Whirl knows that Backfire is just jealous of his much sexier costume and he can't really blame him for it. Arcee is way sexier than Elita One any day. "Maybe you'd have a whip tongue," he says, diving away from the seeker's arm laser thingers. "Or maybe you'd be able to jump really far. That's kind of neat too, right?" He makes a dash for Backfire and swings a leg at him. He's not kicking him with lasers or energy beams this time, he's just kicking him the good ol' fashioned way with his foot. His hilariously shaped foot. Combat: Whirl misses Backfire with his Foot in your face (Kick) attack! "Like this??" Backfire gleefully replies, leaping up into the air and sailing over Whirl's kick.. which is sadly not an energy leg kick or whatev this time. "You know, you're my kind of Autobot! You're smart, fly in altmode, efficient.. you remind me soooooooo much of myself!" he smiles, transforming into a jet. Streaking towards the Wrecker, a rocket slips from the bay and flies foward its target. <> A shake, shudder, and shiver; and before your eyes BACKFIRE transforms into a F-16C Agile Falcon! Combat: F-16C Agile Falcon strikes Whirl with his Eagle 2 Fox 9 or something.. Galv probably knows what those things mean attack! Buzzsaw snores quietly on Torque's shoulder. He's the best judge EVER, really! As soon as Backfire transforms and starts coming after him like some kind of hawk, Whirl makes a dive for it and manages to get under a poker table just as the rocket is fired. It doesn't really help him, like at all. It was no match for the ensuing explosion and Whirl just gets table shrapnel on top of all the other rocket inflicted damage he gets. "Yeah, well, I think you're kind of stupid, crazy, and reckless. It's too bad you're a Con because you'd make a decent Wrecker." Whirl transforms into his sweet helicopter mode and lifts up into the air, blowing all sorts of crap around with his propellers. <> To prove his point, he fires an incendiary shell at the seeker. Hopefully it doesn't start a terrible fire in the casino, that would be awful. Whirl transforms into a helicopter. So cool! Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra strikes F-16C Agile Falcon with his Incendiary Shell attack! The shell impacts against the F-16's hull, making the jet stall in midair and spin dangerously end over end. Transforming, Backfire crashes through a table and lands to the ground in a smoldered wreck. Casino chips fly up through the air haphazardly, so if the denziens weren't already in a huff over the crash.. they're certainly scrambling for free monies when it's raining chips all over the place. Climbing from the wreckage, Backfire's Elita One costume is totally ruined from the combination of transforming and the Wrecker's totally horrible incendiary attack. "Wrecker? Haha-heh-HACK!" he tries to laugh, but just ends up coughing a lot. "AHEM!" he clears his throat, barely functioning anti-gravs carry him up towards the helicopter. "This is OVER when I say it's OVER!" he decrees, then attempts to hug the helo to the ground. Combat: F-16C Agile Falcon sets his defense level to Fearless. The F-16C Agile Falcon transforms with that ever-familiar sound to reveal.. BACKFIRE!! Combat: Backfire misses Bell AH-1 Cobra with his Happy Friend Magical Hug Time (Punch) attack! Bell AH-1 Cobra isn't doing so great in the health department right now but he's not going to just roll over and take it, he's going to make Backfire work for it. <> The helicopter sags when the seeker tries to wrestle him out of the air. <> He flies for the closest wall as fast as his helicopter self can go in this place, determined to crash right into it. Sure, he'll screw himself over, give himself that much more damage but he also might take out Backfire with him and that's as good as any reason to do it. Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra strikes Backfire with his Crash (Ram) attack! Combat: Backfire falls to the ground, unconscious. "Well, if you'd transform and hug me BACK!" Backfire manages to make out, before Whirl crashes them into a wall. Knocked silly, the Seeker falls from the air and lands on Torque's table again. Optics flickering on and off, Backfire looks at the mech.. then her hands. "Soooooooo.. biiiiiiiiig." is all he manages, then succumbs to stasis lock. Repugnus winks. "Thaaaat's what sheeee said!" He stares down at Backfire. "Not to you, though." Torque has been ducking quite low during the aerial bought, not wanting to be singed by afterburners or decapitated by spinning blades. How did they even manage to fly around in the confined casino?? Thankfully is doesn't last long when Whirl strikes the final blow and sends Backfire back atop the blackjack table she sits at, the femme popping up from cover. "Well damn, nice work, Whirl!" She smirks to the copter before looking back to the fading Backfire, rubbing the back of her neck. "A shame he's a Con. I kinda feel bad for him, yah know?" But then he goes and comments on her hands before conking out. Torque frowns at this, antennas drooping whilr looking to her hands. "...Why does people keep saying that?" The poor femme is baffled. Bell AH-1 Cobra completely demolishes the whole anterior of his sweet helicopter mode but it was totally worth it because Backfire finally goes down. The chopper cuts it's propellers and drops onto the ground with a crash, destroying a few pool tables and a row of slot machines. He briefly wonders if he's going to be held responsible for the casino's damages. He really hopes not, there's no way he could afford it. Once he's on the ground, Whirl transforms into his robot mode and stumbles over to the table Backfire landed on. "Nah, don't feel bad. He'll get over it and soon enough we'll be trying to kill each other on the battlefield. It's the circle of life, just like that song." Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule!
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