Thanks to whoever will look over this - and I hope it elicits some laughter Knucmo2 14:46, 1 August 2008 (UTC) I'm going to look over this right now. Right now, like the Van Halen song. Or the one by Jesus Jones. 16:05, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Homage to Catatonia
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| - Thanks to whoever will look over this - and I hope it elicits some laughter Knucmo2 14:46, 1 August 2008 (UTC) I'm going to look over this right now. Right now, like the Van Halen song. Or the one by Jesus Jones. 16:05, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
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| - The prose here ranges from "very good" to "sloppy." Some sentences are phrased perfectly; others contain some usage errors; others are actually pretty confusing. The formatting is all right. The battle template is a little screwed up, in that it's captioned with and it assigns a strange name to Voice Army 1 and no name at all to Voice Army 2. Also, I might point out, there's no explanation of how these voices have "armies" or what exactly these armies consist of.
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| - The images here are kind of throwaway, but this is the kind of article that really isn't about the images. 7 stands for "Okay, it's fine the way it is."
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| - There's a very good concept buried in here - this idea of a war being fought within the brain, but the combatants using that brain to fight the war. It's what made Summary, Part One so funny. But there's so much distracting us from that concept - the fact that 1. it has very little to do with catatonia, so it needs to be established in a better way ; 2. The war is not a war at all, since no combat occurs between the combatants and in fact they end up cooperating to muck up the brain; 3. There's weird extraneous stuff about Russia in here, and I don't know why. I think this article could be much better if it went through a soft rewrite and adhered to a very strict interpretation of the concept. The concept is complex enough that deviating from it pushes the article from clever into confusing.
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| - Sculptors say that sculpting is the act of taking a big block of stone and chiseling away the stuff that doesn't belong. There's a really good sculpture in this stone, but there are pieces hanging off of it that don't belong.
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| - Thanks to whoever will look over this - and I hope it elicits some laughter Knucmo2 14:46, 1 August 2008 (UTC) I'm going to look over this right now. Right now, like the Van Halen song. Or the one by Jesus Jones. 16:05, 15 August 2008 (UTC) i dont know how to review, also i hate putting numbers on things. i just wanted to say, that i actually read 'homage to catalonia', and... uhm... yeah. so i had somewhat a tiny grasp of what your article is about. on the other hand , all this brain stuff, while a fascinating metaphor, that actually i find extremely interesting, is a bit too abstract for me to quite understand the humor involved, personally. maybe if you explained it more, i would get it. like, for example, in the book, when the barbers of catalonia put signs in their window saying, 'we dont take tips, we are no longer slaves', or whatever, how is that represented in your brain theory of the spanish civil war? in fact, you dont even mention the spanish civil war.... this also confuses me, it is as though you have introduced this amazing theory... that actual warfare is somehow a metaphor or even a similar phenomenon to parts of someones brain fighting... but then you have this concrete thing, a book, which your theory seems to be based on... but nothing explaining how you get from the book to the theory, or back again. anyways, good luck with your article.
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