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| - Mark is re-introduced to his extended family, including his cousins Connie (Quinn Kay Culkin) and Henry (Macaulay Culkin). Mark and Henry get along at first, and Henry seems to be nice and well-mannered. In discussing the death of Mark's mother and that of Henry's baby brother Richard, however, Henry expresses an abnormal fascination with death, making Mark uneasy. Henry continues to display increasingly sociopathic behavior, which Mark is unable to tell Wallace and Susan about due to Henry's dark threats. Later, Henry insinuates he will try to kill his sister. Terrified that something might happen to Connie, Mark spends the night in her room. The next morning, Mark awakens to find Henry has taken Connie ice skating. At the pond, Henry purposely throws his sister toward thin ice. The ice collapses and Connie nearly drowns before she is rescued and taken to the hospital. Susan becomes suspicious of Henry when he visits Connie's room, planning to smother her, but Susan (who has been sitting in the dark out of view) interrupts him. Susan finds a rubber duck Henry has hidden; it had once belonged to Richard and was with him in the bathtub the night he drowned after which it went missing. When Susan confronts Henry, he coldly reminds her the toy had belonged to him before it had been Richard's and asks for it back. Susan refuses and Henry tries to take it from her. After a violent tug-of-war, Henry takes the toy and escapes to the cemetery where he throws it down a well, indicating that Richard meant nothing to him. As Susan and Mark grow closer, Henry insinuates he will kill Susan rather than let Mark continue to develop a relationship with her. When a struggle breaks out between the two boys, Wallace locks Mark in the den. Henry asks a suspicious Susan to go for a walk with him while Mark escapes the den and chases after them. Susan firmly asks if Henry killed his brother. Henry indirectly replies, "What if I did?" Horrified by what her son has become, Susan tells Henry that he needs help, but Henry flees into the woods. Susan gives chase, and upon arriving at a cliff, Henry shoves her over the edge. As Susan dangles precariously, Henry picks up a large rock he intends to throw down at her, but Mark intervenes and tackles his cousin, and they fight while Susan climbs back up. In the ensuing brawl, the boys roll off the cliff, but they are caught by Susan. She arduously hangs onto both boys, each with one hand. Henry holds on with both hands, but Mark's one-handed grip begins to slip. With only enough strength to save one of them, Susan notes her disturbed son's icy-calm demeanor, confident that his mother will save him. However, Susan, now aware of her son's deeply evil nature, allows Henry to slip from her grasp and he falls to his death. Susan pulls Mark up from the ledge and they look down upon Henry's corpse on the rocks below, before it is washed away into the sea. Susan and Mark share an emotional embrace. When Mark returns to Arizona, he reflects upon Susan's choice to save him instead of Henry and wonders if she would make the same choice again, but knows it is something he will never ask her.
- NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. NC: You might be wondering why I'm not talking in this episode. Well, it turns out I threw out my voice from yelling so much at today's movie. It's THAT bad. So I have to do the whole review like this. It blows monkeys! I feel like I'm on The Newlywed Game. In the Ass? (he gives a sarcastic soundless laugh) So which movie caused me to lose my angelic voice? I'll tell you... THE GOOD SON!!! NC: The film that teaches us that kids aren't just born evil, they're born REALLY evil. It seems to think that child psychology is more a diversion from the real truth that deep down, all kids just want to be unsuccessful James Bond villains. NC: But don't take my poorly written cue cards for it, let's take a look! NC: The film stars Macaulay Culkin... (he gives a disgusted look) ...as he plays the cousin of another kid, played by Elijah Wood, looking strangely older than he does in the Lord of the Rings movies. He's sad because his mother is suffering from the always fatal 'pale complexion disease'. Janice: I'll always be with you, Mark. Mark: You're not gonna die because I won't let you. NC: One death later, Wood finds that he's without a mother. His father tries to be there for him, but finds out that if he goes on a certain business trip, he'll be set for life and thus have more time to spend with his son afterward. Financially stable or Abandoning your son in his time of need psychologically scarring him for life? NC: So he drops him off at his brother's house, who apparently has kids that are his age. But little Elijah still has his doubts. Jack: Mark, I know you're hurting, but please don't shut me out like this. Mark: She's coming back. She's gonna come back. NC: Oh, YEAH! He's okay to leave alone! (Mark is shown hopping out of the car and running off into the barren landscape as his Dad mildly tries to call him back) The father, of course, tends to his heartbroken child BY NOT EVEN GETTING OUT OF THE CAR!!!! NC: Stop. I love you and stuff. NC: They finally reach the abandoning grounds as he's introduced to his uncle's family. (A loud high pitched scream is heard. As Mark looks around we see Culkin's character hanging partially upside down wearing a white plaster mask) And, of course, we meet the little Hellspawn himself, Henry. Father: Henry, come on down here. NC: He just created a mask made out of toasted Rhino splooge and he shares it with his new friend. Henry: Here. I made two of them, so we can be brothers. Aunt: Oh, well, as if one wasn't enough. A bizarrely long clip of Henry and Mark staring at each others eyes commences. The Critic looks on at this, confused as to why it's so long. NC: CUT???? NC: So Daddy finally takes off as he explains to his son why he's being such a money grubbing jackass. Dad: Mark, you understand, don't you? I'm leaving you now, so I....so I never have to leave you again. NC: BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!! NC: So we see Wood interact with the family, including his aunt. Aunt: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. How about some breakfast? NC: Something about her doesn't seem right, she seems too innocent. Aunt: Sleep okay last night? Mark: Yeah. NC: It's like every second she's posing for a family friendly commercial. NC (voiceover): Good times, good memories, good gracious, what a day. Folgers...partaking in every artificial moment. NC: So Wood plays around with Culkin running around and such. When we first get our glimpse of evil from him. NC: GASP! HE STARTS SMOKING!!! NC: So? Drew Barrymore was on that stuff at half your age! Henry: Go on. Mark: They give you cancer. Henry: Who cares? You're gonna die, anyway. NC: When did this turn into an after school special? NC: Then we get our next taste of Culkin's diabolical nature. Henry: What did your mom look like the last time you saw her? Mark: Kinda pale. Henry: Kinda pale. I took a real good look when my kid brother Richard drowned in the bathtub. Mark: Your brother drowned? Henry: He was completely blue. You should've looked at his eyes and his lips, and touched his skin to see what it felt like. NC: Tell me about the lambs, Clarice... NC: Next, he takes him to see his 'Deadly Armed Weapon' playset as he builds a miniature gun that shoots screws and nails at people. Mark: Awesome. Henry: You pull the cable back to here. Go ahead, lock and load. NC: He's like the MacGyver of possessed grade schoolers. Mark: Don't hit her. Just...give her a scare. Mark: What a great shot! Henry: Yeah. But the sight's not right yet. NC: This is one giant wink! Every other second, there's another over-the-top clue to his evilness! Why don't you just add evil laughter after every scene? Henry: Yeah. But the sight's not right yet. Mark: Today was fun. Henry: Tomorrow will be even better. Henry: If I let you go, do you think you could fly? Aunt: You know, I spoke with Alice Davenport this morning. Uncle: Oh, she's a therapist that works at the hospital? NC: We then see Wood visiting a psychologist, trying to help him cope with his mother's death. Mark: I guess when you make a promise...when something's your fault. Psychologist: What did you do? Mark: I let someone die. Frodo: GANDALF! NOOOOOOO! NC: Cut to the night where Wood swears he sees his mother walking through the house. But it's just his aunt shooting another commercial. Mom: Mark? NC(voiceover): Can't sleep? Helping your nephew deal with dead mother issues? At least you're wearing a robe from Sears, making boys think their mothers have come back from the dead everyday. NC: But Culkin doesn't like this Hallmark moment as the less than subtle camera angles inform us. Devil: Do not worry, Culkin. Their love will be their downfall. Mwahahaha. NC:As they walk through another Thomas Kinkade painting, Culkin tries his nail gun on some live prey. Mark: Try to hit that sign! Henry: Negative. Targeting. Henry: I was only trying to scare him. NC: (looking horrified) Dude, imagine if he had that weapon in 'Home Alone' Harry: Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for ya. Marv: HARRY! NC: Just as Wood is starting to realize there's something wrong with his new friend, Culkin takes him to meet his dummy replica of Wilson from Home Improvement. Mark: Who is he? Henry: Mr. Highway. Mark: Wow! NC: Mr. Highway? I wonder why he's called Mr. High--Oh. Kevin: (lip-syncing to the movie within a movie that he's watching) Keep the change, you filthy animal. NC: So, yeah, Culkin's a psycho, and why doesn't Wood tell his parents about this? Henry: Go ahead, tell them. Or better yet, we'll tell them together. "It was Mark, Dad. He talked me into it." Dad, Mark's got something to tell ya! Uncle: What is it? What's wrong with Mark? Henry: I dunno, he's been acting pretty weird. Let me go see if he's okay. Henry: I told my Dad I'd see if you were okay. Well, are you okay, Mark? NC: Do I have to feed you to my man-eating sharks? Connie: Guess what? Mom just said we can go skating tomorrow! Henry: Connie, what did I tell you about coming into my room? Connie: But you guys weren't working on anything. Henry: You didn't answer my question, so I'm going to have to do it for you. Henry: You're not allowed to come into my room. Not now, not ever! Never! NC: DON'T MAKE ME HAVE AN EMOTION! Mark: (Grabs Henry) You're wrong about that! Connie: Mom! Mom, they're fighting! Henry: You like my sister, don't you? She's such a sweet little girl. Too bad if something would've happened to her, if she got hurt. You'd be upset, wouldn't you, Mark? But, hey, accidents will happen. NC: (looking irritated) What kid talks like this!? It's like if Hannibal Lector and The Hal 9000 had a Devil Spawn. Aunt: Boys, boys? Henry, what's going on? Henry: I'm sorry, Mom. We were playing this really dumb game. We weren't fighting, we were just playing. Weren't we, Mark? Mark: Yeah. Aunt: Well, just not so rough, okay? You sounded like you were going to kill each other. NC: And what's up with this idiot mother? Does he need to grow HORNS in order for her to catch on? NC: Things get worse when the parents leave the kids alone at the house as they go for a nice night out. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!? DON'T THEY GET A SITTER????? Why don't you buy them a pet cobra while you're at it?! NC: So Mark reads the little sister a bedtime story until she falls asleep. Mark: ""Good night, little girls. Thank the Lord you are well. And now, go to sleep", said Miss Clavel." NC: I guess nothing bad can happen here.. Henry: That was a darling story, Mark. Mark: What are you doing? Henry: I want to tuck in my kid sister. NC: Just like Michael Jackson showed me. Henry: Such a sweet little thing. Do you really think I'd hurt her? Mark: Yes. NC: Okay, this kid IS every cliche in the book! They're just one step away from holding a flashlight under his face. Henry: What do you think this is, a game? (he says that line while holding a flashlight under his face) NC: Since I can't talk, I'm just gonna play some random sounds of miscellaneous violence. NC: Things don't get much better as the next day, Culkin takes his sister to an ice ring. I'm sure nothing bad can happen he-Oh, popcorn! NC: She finds out she's literally on thin ice as she falls through, nearly drowning to death. Now wait a minute. How can a little girl fall through the ice and yet several HEAVIER people walk on it just fine? Why do you even need an ax is it's so thin? I mean, COME ON! NC: It's that dramatically convenient HOLLYWOOD ice I've heard about! NC: But the sinister Culkin is not pleased. NC: After about the FIFTH time he tries to kill someone, Wood finally decides to confess to Culkin's mother. Mark: I don't think what happened at the pond was an accident. Aunt: What do you mean? Mark: Connie didn't just slip. You don't know what he is! Henry tried to kill Connie and he can do it agai- Aunt: (smacks him) STOP IT! (then embraces him) Stop it! That's a lie! Aunt: (smacks him) STOP IT! (then embraces him) Stop it! That's a lie! NC: This is why Culkin is so fucked up! NC: Convinced that no one will believe him, Wood decides to go and tell his psychologist. But guess who happens to be there? Psychologist: Mark! Henry: Hi, Mark. Cut to a clip from Liar Liar Fletcher: Holy Hell! NC: After Wood runs away in fear, Culkin begins to tell more lies about Wood's behavior. Henry: He scares me sometimes. Psychologist: What does he do? Henry: Please don't ask me that. I can't you that. Psychologist: Why not? Henry: Because Mark's my friend. NC: I love how a friggen' CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST can't tell that a kid talking like a damn robot is lying. Psychologist: Please, Henry, tell me everything. Henry: Everything? NC: Wood finally proclaims to Culkin that it's war and that he's willing do anything to keep his family safe. Mark: I guess you wouldn't understand that. But it's true. She's my mother now. Henry: Hey, Mark....don't fuck with me. NC: The "Home Alone" kid just said "Don't fuck with me." Henry: Don't fuck with me. NC: I can actually feel my childhood dying. It's going...going...dead. NC: But Culkin isn't done yet, as he starts making yet even more threats towards killing his own mother. Henry: Mark, did you cry at your mom's funeral? Mark: You wouldn't. Henry: Wouldn't what? Mark: Hurt her. Henry: Your mom, my mom. What the hell? Mark: I'll kill you first. Henry: Poor Mark, so violent. Palpatine: Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you. NC: Convinced he's lost his Hobbit mind, his uncle locks him up in the back room. Uncle: You will stay in here until you are ready to talk. (Locks Mark in the room) Mark: Uncle Wallace! NC: After doing a thorough check of the room, he realizes there is no way out. Meanwhile, Culkin's mother stops taking stupid pills and asks Culkin about his brother's death. Susan: You have to tell me the truth now. What happened the night Richard died? Henry: I was downstairs playing. Susan: Henry, don't lie to me. Now you tell me. Did you kill Richard? Henry: What if I did? NC: Culkin then runs away as it suddenly becomes the opening to The Fugitive. Susan: Henry! Henry! No! Henry! Samuel Gerard: Ladies and gentlemen, our fugitive has been on the run for 90 minutes. What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse farmhouse, hen house, outhouse, and doghouse in that area! NC: After reaching a cliff, Culkin fakes out his mother and pushes her off. Henry: I guess you don't know me very well, Mom. Susan: Henry, please! No! NC: I'll raise your allowance! NC: But Wood escapes as he tries to save his aunt from more of Culkin's hammy speeches. NC (voiceover): Doing some climbing? Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders? Your own son tried to kill you as he's fighting your nephew, turning your perception of reality completely upside down? Pepperidge Farm: 'Cause your life's really fucked up. NC: Eventually, the mother is holding onto the two boys and has to choose which one she'll save. The choice is pretty easy. NC: So Culkin falls to his death, Elijah Wood is saved, and they all live happily ever after. OR DO THEY??? NC: For it turns out Culkin WAS an evil robot, bent ON RULING THE WORLD!!!! NC: Okay, okay, that doesn't happen, but it might as well. This film is totally removed from reality! NC: This is probably just some writer's way of coping with getting beat up by bullies in high school by explaining that they're just EVIL! Everything is false, completely over done, and hammed up. NC: And, of course, it caused me to talk like Wile E. Coyote! Let's see if I can sum this movie up with one focused vocal chord. NC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS! NC: At least I tried. I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.
- The Good Son is the 25th episode and first season finale of That '70s Show.
- The Good Son is the questline from the Treehouse of Horror XXV Event that unlocked when the player gets Hugo Simpson.
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