About: Asparagus Syndrome   Sponge Permalink

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Asparagus Syndrome is a poorly understood mental disorder. Sufferers have an inordinate fascination with Asparagus. They eat Asparagus at every meal, usually have at least one Asparagus stalk attached to their clothing at all times, and are difficult to engage in conversation concerning any subject except for Asparagus.

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  • Asparagus Syndrome
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  • Asparagus Syndrome is a poorly understood mental disorder. Sufferers have an inordinate fascination with Asparagus. They eat Asparagus at every meal, usually have at least one Asparagus stalk attached to their clothing at all times, and are difficult to engage in conversation concerning any subject except for Asparagus.
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  • Asparagus Syndrome is a poorly understood mental disorder. Sufferers have an inordinate fascination with Asparagus. They eat Asparagus at every meal, usually have at least one Asparagus stalk attached to their clothing at all times, and are difficult to engage in conversation concerning any subject except for Asparagus. The horrific consequences of Asparagus Syndrome include: not making small talk because big talk works better, tendency to think for yourself against the herd in order to protect themselves and their supply of Asparagus, eyes that dart all over the place, and high intelligence in spite of all that. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behaviour guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking or literal interpretation and structure. Some theorists believe that Bugs Bunny has Asparagus Syndrome due to his persistent tendency to forget to turn left at Albuquerque, and spitting carrots out after a scene was finished.
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