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  • Mr. Saturday Knight/Quotes
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  • :[Mr. Weed has just died. There is a knock on the front door to the Griffin residence] :Deep voice: Police! Random dead body search! :[Lois, Peter, and Brian panic. Peter tries to flush Mr. Weed's corpse down the toilet as Lois answers the door to find it is really Death] :Death: Ha ha! Naw, it is just me. I am only here to collect the dead body. :Lois: Peter! You can relax, it is only Death. :Peter: Oh, hey Death! :[Death takes the corpse and departs Griffin residence. Death's Dog appears] :Death's Dog: Hey, did someone choke on a dinner roll? :Brian: No, I recovered. :Death's Dog: Sorry about that. ---- :The Black Knight: A word of advice... the path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility, not LSD and sideburns. ---- :Peter: I still remember my last job at The Electric Company. :[cutaway to the word spelling segment] :Man: D :Peter: ot :both:Dot :Man: B :Peter: et :Man: Bet :Peter: Bet I knew that, slow it down now. :Man: P :Peter: it :Man: Pit :Peter: Pit. Oh, come on pal, this is my first day. :Man: F :Peter: at :Man: Fat :Peter: Oh, that's it, buddy! ---- :[While at Chris' career day] :Peter: Hey, kids! Hey, you know what I do? I work at a toy factory and you know what I do there? :Boy: I bet you're just one of those low-level assembly-line guys who stands there all day screwing heads on dolls. "Ooh, is it on straight? I don't know." Boo! :Peter: Why, you little snot-nosed... :Teacher: Mr. Griffin! He plays kickball in the park after school. Get him there. ---- :Mort: I was once addicted to antihistamines. I took so many I thought I was Mr. Peanut. ---- :Peter: You know, since money's getting tight, I was gonna suggest that we eat the kids. You know, jokingly at first, but then I was gonna gauge your reaction and if you were cool with it, we would go from there. ---- :Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then he ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it. ---- :Margot Kidder: AAAH! AAAH! AAAAAH! Forgot my purse. AAAAAH! ---- :Stewie: I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her. Ugh, who hasn't done her? Do her, lose the pigtails and we'll talk, do her, do her. ---- :Peter: [Dressed as a prostitute] Hey. Looking for a good time, sweetcheeks? :Meg: Oh. My God. :Lois: Peter, get in the car! :Peter: Ok, but it'll cost you. What do you want, a Cleveland steamer? :Lois: I said get in the car...what's a Cleveland steamer? :Brian: It means that he'll... :Peter: [As a police car passes] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be cool; be cool. Yes, so go to Maple Street and then take a left and then you go...ok, so you want a party or what? :Lois: Get in this car right now! [Peter complies] :Stewie: It's eerie, isn't it? Like looking into the future. ---- :Black Knight: What's your fatass doing here? :Bruce: He's my only means of conveyance, but I guess I do spoil him. :Black Knight: Clearly, you do. ---- :Mort: Take that, you bastard! Nobody makes a fool out of Mort Goldman! ---- :Lois: Remember that episode of The Honeymooners when Ralph lost his job, but at the end of the show he didn't get it back? :Peter: Oh yeah. What was up with that? That bugged the crap out of me. ----
Title
  • Mr. Saturday Knight
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