About: House of Romanov   Sponge Permalink

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The Romanovs held power in Russia for like 300 years but their own origins were distinctly horsey. Officially they were employed to look after the Tsar's stallions in Moscow back in the 15th century. There are suggestions that when the candles were snuffed out, some of the Romanovs slept with the horses. It was warmer in the stable and the Romanovs loved the horses. And the horses loved Romanovs. Soon some family members were preferred to walk about on their hands and feet and developed the buck toothed look associated with hicks in the Hillbilly Lands of Deliverance County.

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  • House of Romanov
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  • The Romanovs held power in Russia for like 300 years but their own origins were distinctly horsey. Officially they were employed to look after the Tsar's stallions in Moscow back in the 15th century. There are suggestions that when the candles were snuffed out, some of the Romanovs slept with the horses. It was warmer in the stable and the Romanovs loved the horses. And the horses loved Romanovs. Soon some family members were preferred to walk about on their hands and feet and developed the buck toothed look associated with hicks in the Hillbilly Lands of Deliverance County.
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  • The Romanovs held power in Russia for like 300 years but their own origins were distinctly horsey. Officially they were employed to look after the Tsar's stallions in Moscow back in the 15th century. There are suggestions that when the candles were snuffed out, some of the Romanovs slept with the horses. It was warmer in the stable and the Romanovs loved the horses. And the horses loved Romanovs. Soon some family members were preferred to walk about on their hands and feet and developed the buck toothed look associated with hicks in the Hillbilly Lands of Deliverance County. So the Romanov ancestry links them with some folks named after particular horses, although their wives had a different explanation and a strangely smug look of satisfaction most mornings. Boyar Ivan, a grandchild of a man whose first name was Roman, changed the family patronym to Romanov, thus beginning of the great Imperial Romanov family. This may not be the most inventive of ideas but the alternatives; O'Roman was rejected as "too Irish", Romanich "sounds like we have genital warts", and Ivan FitzRoman "Makes me sound like a goddam faggot". Economic advisers also suggested that Romanov would make by far the best vodka brand. Rumors persist, however, of a Scotch still bearing MacRoman are still whispered around the lochs of Glen Beaich.
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