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| - The following status report was filed by agent Franklin Salisbury, in his own unique style. As they were filed as one, they appear here rather than in their respective mission files. STATUS REPORT: Franklin Salisbury DATE: ... I think there was an 'r' in the month? Well, that month went downhill faster than an avalance near a rock concert. The first mission was straight-forward enough. A vampire had been killing enough people to warrant a hit, so our team headed over to its base of operations, a night club. After agent Jane and I equipped the Mirrorshades I'd built earlier this month and I borrowed some more appropiate attire, we were driven there in a limo, and made it past the bouncer easily. While the others distracted the bartender, I used my All-Purpose Energy Meter[1] and managed to locate the RD's lair - unfortunately, it was already feeding on someone, but 'fortunately', I noticed its victim could no longer be saved, which meant we didn't have to risk our cover with a hasty approach[1]. [1] Appendix A: The APEM And Its Features The entrance to the lair was in the VIP room, which was locked, insofar as you can call any door that you can open with a credit card 'locked', but we made it in without being noticed. Getting to the lair itself was more difficult, as there were cameras covering the stairways and corridor there. However, I was able to identify a zero-day vulnerability taking advantage of a double fault exception in the cameras' wireless system[2], and not only did I manage to feed a loop to the central security system, I also gained access to the unaltered camera feeds, allowing us to keep an eye on the bartender, whose reflexes were quick enough that there was a high chance of him being a ghoul. [2] Appendix B: CCTV Zero-Day Exploit 3X7A We headed downstairs and confronted the RD, after which things went rather quickly: the RD tried to hypnotize agent Jane and failed, agent Jane tried to hypnotize the RD and failed, and agent Tailor tried to shoot the RD but her experimental laser weapon exploded in her hands. I ended up using my tried-and-tested Laser Pointer Amplified By Laser Lens Module method, and took down the RD in two shots. Rather than try to sneak him out through the exit for interrogation, we decided to go for immediate elimination through decapitation-by-laser. We located a secret passage, and agent Jane and I followed it while agent Tailor examined the RD's unconscious captives. We ended up in a fancy room with dozens of ancient German artifacts: unfortunately, we were told to retreat as their owner was still under surveillance. We gave some first aid to the captives, then discreetly left again through the front door and tipped off 'our' cops so they could raid the place and handle the victims. MISSION 2: Mad Men The second mission was somewhat more complicated. We were tasked with investigating the upper floors of the Blizzard tower we previously rescued Quicksilver from, which had since been secured, including the device she'd been trapped in. When we got there, however, we noticed several things were odd: the Gauntlet was unusually strong, something strange happened at the top floor while we were approaching the building, and we spotted an empty BCD helicopter - as we found out later, it had been used by Void Engineer Xerxes Jones and his team to fly there. Rather than follow my idea and use the helicopter to fly up, we went in on foot. Inside, we ran into several instances of incomprehensible stupidity. First we found out the troops guarding the 15th floor had all started hearing voices, resulting in their sanity nearing the breaking point, because none of them had decided to DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM THE CREEPY VOICES - they were immediately ordered down a floor. Then we found a Dimensional Stabilisation Engine in the room where we'd found Quicksilver, with a note attached to it, and photos of Hiroshima post-Little Boy. Rather than leave the note alone, agent Tailor decided to read it, and we discovered that Xerxes Jones is a paranoid asshole who somehow thought actual traitors, rather than people trying to do their fucking job without having to deal with crazies, would be the ones to find the note. The DSE then turned into a DDE (a trap triggered by the note being read), and we had to haul ass out of there as the Gauntlet started coming down. Fortunately, I had brought a parachute with me since the elevators weren't working properly and I wasn't going to run the risk of having to descend 16 floors by foot when something dangerous went down; unfortunately, the others hadn't followed my lead, so when entities who appeared to be the result of mummified human corpses having semi-organic cybernetics installed in them by nanobots (alternatively, the offspring a threesome between an Iterator, a Progenitor, and a zombie would produce)[3] - likely the 'husks' Paranoid Asshole's note mentioned - came through the Gauntlet and attacked, agents Tailor and Jane were caught in a pincer movement when heading towards the stairs, and I had to break off my escape to secure theirs. Although agent Tailor was injured during the fight, she and agent Jane managed to clear a path, partially due to my having used my EM Modulator before the mission to counteract some of her firearm's inherent inefficiencies and increasing the velocity of its bullets through the well-documented method of 'hot-shotting'. After we evacuated, the building was demolished by aircraft to destroy the DDE. At least Paranoid Asshole and his associates will no doubt have their salaries frozen pending their imprisonment: that should offset the financial losses to some degree. Plus I got to check out the helicopter's insides when we checked it for sabotage prior to returning it. [3] Appendix C: Theories On The Origin Of The 'Husks' And Possible Countermeasures (Other Than Lasering Them, Obviously) The less said about this mission the better. We were sent to investigate someone, ghosts were after him because they believed him to be a reincarnation of the mythical Charon, they murdered innocents all across the world when we refused, and we were forced to kill him. Frankly, I hope whatever entity they feel they need his leadership to fight destroys them all. Painfully.
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