About: TransLink (British Columbia)   Sponge Permalink

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TransLink (legally the Holy Translink Alliance of the Greater Vancouver Regional Consortium) is an ancient secret society that went public in 1788 due to enormous internal guilt regarding prior "trans-gressions." The gigantic bureaucratic cult was established as an offshoot of the Spacefaring Guild popularized in Frank Herbert's Dune, but is actually responsible for creating the guild's slogan, "The spice must flow!" Translink is also the chief (and sole) sponsor of the transgendered mixer event, "Trans-Link", which regularly collapses from a simple mixer into a drinking competition, then further into a totally rockin' orgy, due mainly to the unusually high numbers of Surrealists in attendance.

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  • TransLink (British Columbia)
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  • TransLink (legally the Holy Translink Alliance of the Greater Vancouver Regional Consortium) is an ancient secret society that went public in 1788 due to enormous internal guilt regarding prior "trans-gressions." The gigantic bureaucratic cult was established as an offshoot of the Spacefaring Guild popularized in Frank Herbert's Dune, but is actually responsible for creating the guild's slogan, "The spice must flow!" Translink is also the chief (and sole) sponsor of the transgendered mixer event, "Trans-Link", which regularly collapses from a simple mixer into a drinking competition, then further into a totally rockin' orgy, due mainly to the unusually high numbers of Surrealists in attendance.
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  • TransLink (legally the Holy Translink Alliance of the Greater Vancouver Regional Consortium) is an ancient secret society that went public in 1788 due to enormous internal guilt regarding prior "trans-gressions." The gigantic bureaucratic cult was established as an offshoot of the Spacefaring Guild popularized in Frank Herbert's Dune, but is actually responsible for creating the guild's slogan, "The spice must flow!" Translink is also the chief (and sole) sponsor of the transgendered mixer event, "Trans-Link", which regularly collapses from a simple mixer into a drinking competition, then further into a totally rockin' orgy, due mainly to the unusually high numbers of Surrealists in attendance. Translink is headed by a board of the 766 Mayors of the 767 GVRD municipalities (The mayor of Surrey has never attended due to the fact that the municipality remains unaware of the Translink organization, since it is also secretly trying to tear the city apart from the outside.) The chairmanship of the board of directors, or 'Council Of Evil' as it prefers to be called, is determined by semi-annual raffle, whose proceeds are used to downgrade the buses in the Richmond and Surrey fleet as often and as substantially as possible. So far, Translink operates a fleet of buses that number in the dozens, several light rail trains with special cowcatching and heavy nuclear missile launch facilities, an underground railroad for the flourishing Korea-Canada Organs-for-Arms-for-Oil-for-Organs-for-Drugs-for-Hostages-for-Arms program, and the SkyTrain. It also releases its publication, The Buzzer, a helpful guide to taking the transportation system and brainwashing propaganda device. It has been suggested that Translink is secretly in control of the entire GVRD government, when in actuality this is a plain, common fact to the people that live there; every third dollar spent in Vancouver winds up being splurged away by Translink in some way or another.
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