Every June, thousands of would-be zombicidal skull crackers are overrun and slaughtered by hordes of reanimated cannibals. The reason? They haven't a goddamned clue what they are doing. My insightful and strangely arousing guide to etiquette and material selection is invaluable information should you be attacked by decomposing masses of homicidal corpses, or thousands of angry South Korean farmers. Nothing says "put down the sandwich board" like a barbecue fork through the eye socket. I am doing this as part of a platform to launch my revolutionary milita in the conquest of Bakersfield, Iowa, led by my glorious leader Michael "I was saying 'snigger'! Honest!" Richards, under his glorious creed, "Question all authority except mine, for obvious reasons, in the fiery creation of the new natio