| abstract | - The Holy Rock was not always the respected divinity on the bottom rung of the The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy that it is now. The Holy Rock started off it's life at the beginning of time. The 8 continents had all combined into one big continent, Pangea, however, the landmass could not be stable since eight is neither divisible by three, nor is it three. The eight continents thought they could fool the laws of physics because an 8 kinda looks like a 3 if you don't look very closely. The continents were wrong though and they soon divided. In this dividing process the Holy Rock was first born. Breaking off of Africa and South America as they split, the Holy Rock fell into the ocean and spent the first five years of its life at the bottom of the ocean under high pressure. Eventually, a current swept the Holy Rock off the bottom of the ocean and it washed ashore onto a snowy beach in California. There it got acquainted with some of the other rocks on the beach and developed a hatred for sand (a predjeduce that would shape the rest of its life). Once it was even packed into a snowball and thrown at somebody's face. The Holy Rock managed to break the kids glasses, something it is proud of to this day.
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