| abstract | - Dr. Doom is many things. He is European. He is a gypsy. He studies the dark arts. He is a scientist. He rules his own country with a 99% approval rating. He uses big words. And he was almost a New York Intellectual. What do all these things have in common? They are all characteristics of the Enemies of Freedom. Victor Von Doom attended Empire State University where he met American patriot Reed Richards. Richards was smarter than Doom and always laughed at the Euro for trying to make it in our great country. But, he took pity and tried to warn him his plans were FUBAR. Doom, displaying his European arrogance threw a temper tantrum and proceeded with his experiment anyway. It blew up. Reed, and all the rest of the Americans laughed at the silly foreigner, and Doom was expelled. What happened next is a mystery, but our CIA intelligence speculates that Doom became a Muslim. He built himself a suit of armor, and like the stupid Euro that he is, donned his iron mask before it cooled. It is speculated that his face now resembles a French woman's armpit. Doom returned to his stupid country of Latveria, and became it's evil dictator. He has spent his time enjoying a 99% approval rating. An approval rating even higher than Hitler's. Thankfully, our Greatest President Ever displays his difference by leading with a low approval rating. Doom is evil. Within his castle, Doom builds weapons of mass destructions, and time machines. Rumor has it, he has tried to go back in time to kill the founding fathers. But, George Washington is still on the dollar, not Doom. He obviously has failed. Doom is stupid.
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