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  • Chet Culver
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  • Chester was spawned beneath Washington D.C., on January 25, 1966, to commemorate the ten year anniversary of Elvis Presley's first number one single Heartbreak Hotel. His father, Dr. John "Mind-Bender" Culver (Cobra Lieutenant, Musician, and Fast Food Heir) scoured the Earth to find the genetic material to create the perfect son (see Culver's DNA). After leaving Cobra, John Culver went on to be Emperor of Iowa from 1976-1986 and would certainly be Chet's inspiration for later entering into politics. Chester shares a birthday with such famous individuals as Virgina Woolf, William Colgate, and Robert Burn. Mr. Culver also appears to have an unhealthy obsession with the date.
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  • Culver.jpg
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Date
  • 2006
  • Present
Wife
  • Maire Claire Culver
preceded
  • Stale Half-eaten Unfrosted Blueberry Pop Tart
Name
  • Chet Culver: Live via satellite
Succeeded
  • No One
Party
  • Cobra
Place of Birth
  • Cobra Laboratories beneath Washingtin D.C.
Children
  • Wednesday and Pugsly
Date of Birth
  • 1966-01-25
Nationality
  • Iowan
abstract
  • Chester was spawned beneath Washington D.C., on January 25, 1966, to commemorate the ten year anniversary of Elvis Presley's first number one single Heartbreak Hotel. His father, Dr. John "Mind-Bender" Culver (Cobra Lieutenant, Musician, and Fast Food Heir) scoured the Earth to find the genetic material to create the perfect son (see Culver's DNA). After leaving Cobra, John Culver went on to be Emperor of Iowa from 1976-1986 and would certainly be Chet's inspiration for later entering into politics. Chester shares a birthday with such famous individuals as Virgina Woolf, William Colgate, and Robert Burn. Mr. Culver also appears to have an unhealthy obsession with the date. Culver was home schooled by his father and his father's longtime confidant, Cobra Commander. After finishing high school, Chester earned a band scholarship to Colgate University, holding first chair in the concert orchestra, mastering the pan, skin, and all other known forms of flutes. He graduated in 1988 with a B.A. degree in Global Enslavement. Culver would take a part time job as a lobotomist and lobbyist in Washington, lobbying on behalf of The Endangered Species Punchers Of America (ESPA), People for Public Crucifixions (PPC), and The Deadbeat Alcoholic Dad's Defiling Younger-Women Group (DADDY), before leaving the lime-light of the hill to attend law school. Chet attended law school at Drake University in Des Moines, IA. While at Drake, Culver saw the play Who's Afraid Of Virginia Wolf and fell fast in love with Broadway. He dropped out of law school to pursue a carer in acting and would receive several auditions for Mentos commercials, midget porn, and driver's education videos, failing to ever land a role. Heartbroken, Culver returned to Drake earning his master's degree in education. He accepted a position at a Des Moines area high school, teaching Political Dictatorship and Interpretive Dance, before first getting his feet wet in the arena of elected public office.