| rdfs:comment | - Prior to 1975, women were treated like second-class citizens on Wheeling College. That has not changed much in contemporary times, but at least they now have proper lebensraum, which was a strictly male idea up until the 1960s. Women were not equipped for the hard labour demanded by the penal colony, and they were thus mostly kept around for the sake of amusement and for keeping literature department numbers constant. In spite of the many humanitarian reforms instituted by the Dschinghis Khan protectorate in their long reign, they, too, were guilty of treating women poorly. Up until 1537, the only career options afforded to women at Wheeling College were coffee house waitress and harem staff. Although the Lacrossetitution Guild gave women sanctuary and work, their limited resources meant t
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| abstract | - Prior to 1975, women were treated like second-class citizens on Wheeling College. That has not changed much in contemporary times, but at least they now have proper lebensraum, which was a strictly male idea up until the 1960s. Women were not equipped for the hard labour demanded by the penal colony, and they were thus mostly kept around for the sake of amusement and for keeping literature department numbers constant. In spite of the many humanitarian reforms instituted by the Dschinghis Khan protectorate in their long reign, they, too, were guilty of treating women poorly. Up until 1537, the only career options afforded to women at Wheeling College were coffee house waitress and harem staff. Although the Lacrossetitution Guild gave women sanctuary and work, their limited resources meant that women were frequently denied basic opportunities as given to men (such as the right to run around naked). Father Raculad, who required female virgin blood every two weeks, decided to kill two birds with one stone by founding Sara Tracy dormitory in 1975, the year he was installed as president of Wheeling College. Along with this new dorm came a new era of women's rights on campus: they were now allowed outside of kitchen facilities without the escort of a male relative and were allowed to report crimes to Campus Insecurity without the threat of being burnt as a witch. In return, Father Raculad demanded that a sacrifice be made to him every two weeks. By 1983, Father Raculad, to his dismay, learned that there were no longer any virgins on campus. Deciding that community outreach was not a solution, Raculad led an army of Vampire Lords against the residents of Sara Tracy, whom retaliated by stabbing the aggressors with various kitchen utensils. Although the vampire army had the upper hand, Raculad had gone an entire moon cycle without tasting virgin blood, and expired before the victorious ladies. Most of the Vampire Lords were sentenced by the Moskau tribunals to star in both Underworld films. Many of them chose disintegration rather than such a terrible fate. Kirby was added to Sara Tracy by Immortal Jesuit Emperor Fed Acker Huang in 2000 after he had completed Kirby Super Star after playing the video game for 80 hours without stopping. Naming the dorm after Nintendo's pink puffball of fun, a glassy-eyed Huang declared at its opening that "this dorm will, like Kirby, suck". In more ways than one, it does.
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