| abstract | - - "What did I miss? Was I in a coma when they drugged all of these people? There is something wrong with this world when swarms of people are obsessed with a series, when you take it at it's base level, all Twilight is just a the tale of a nut job female deciding whether she wants to f*** the dead guy or the doggie." - "Twilight is a series of vampire romance novels with no freaking vampires! And don't you dare tell me those things in the series are vampires. Vampires drink human blood, turn in to bats, sleep in coffins, and don't have reflections. Garlic, holy water, silver and stakes kill them. When they go out in sunlight, they burn. No where in that description does it say 'Sparkly mind-reading vegetarians who look like they walked out of a Nordstrom's catalog.' To add insult to injury, they ruin werewolves too! Thankfully not to the same extent as the metro-pires, but nevertheless, shape shifting Native Americans are not lycanthropes." - "Which brings us to the movies, which are very faithful adaptations to the books, in regards to the fact that they are all poorly made train wrecks that cause everybody except for the fan girls to suffer a cerebral hemorrhage. Of course odds are if you like horse crap mislabeled as a book, odds are you would like horse crap mislabeled as a movie just as much." - "If one could make a list of how many times they mention 'Edwards perfect face' or his 'velvety voice' and such, I am sure I would not be the only one who threw up in their mouth. It would seem that while the author was spending her time browsing her thesaurus for another word she could use to describe Edward's nose hairs, she forgot to include a coherent plot line." - "It's a cultural war my dear readers - and it's time for us to break out the stakes and turn the tide against those sparkly sons of bitches." We here at frozen apples salute Korsgaard for tackling the subject and retaining his cognitive abilities. You can view the full posthere. This article is a . You can help My English Wiki by expanding it.
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