| abstract | - Classified project, moving light Privately funded silent night North pole station satellite Red and white laser beams are focusing Converging on a tyrant king New dimensions! Full of presents! For the children! In the trillions! With a little bit of brains Maybe we can do away with the lack of candy canes Make Christmas every day Through scientific enterprise, maybe we can open eyes We can revolutionize the way we move merchandise (It keeps on giving, it keeps on giving, it keeps on giving, it keeps on giving) No more naughty, no more nice Just a present and a price (As seen on TV, as seen on TV, as seen on TV) It's a pillow, it's a pet It's a miracle it hasn't happened yet Oh god. Something went wrong. I can't let you see me like this. I walked through the path of the beam. At first I thought I was okay, but overnight my hair turned white. I've been gaining weight... Involuntary spasms, like a bowl full of jelly... Outbursts of laughter... We must not tell the shareholders. That would be bad. Whoa, something to do with DNA Something to do with gamma rays White flowing beard won't go away, go away Laser beams from outer space Converging on my mutant face New dimensions! Now I'm presents! Like Pandora! Oh the horror! Body horror, tendons snapping Ribbons and wrapping, stocking stuffing Skin is sloughing, bones are bowing Something is growing Something. Ohhhh! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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