| abstract | - Dan attended Pimento University in 1959 where he declared himself a genius after throwing 4 years and 32,000 dollars to waste. Since he had no money for food, he bullied quarters from his classmates and developed a green hue to his skin due to malnutrition. Unsurprisingly, Dan never got any dates which meant his only choice was the obvious one. He would stalk Dora Standpipe seeing her as an easy way of getting rich, but her three boyfriends would always be in his way. Dan dropped out of college and spent whatever money he could sponge off on liquor and cigarettes. After one day noticing Dora alone and vulnerable, he took her to a mountain lodge to rape her with the Dover boys chasing after to beat him (and themselves) to a bloody pulp.
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