| abstract | - The basic Pickelhaube was made of skin from animal bum — usually a cow — that was painted black and wrapped in aluminum foil to keep out insects. The Pickelhaube also included an iron spike at the crown, but the ones with tall spikes (like the one worn by Otto von Bismarck) were reserved for high-ranking military officials, because they were seen as "cooler" than the rest of the military. Early versions of the Pickelhaube had a high crown, but the height gradually reduced due to protests that it looked to much like a certain part of the male anatomy. Besides the sharp metal pointy thing sticking out the top of it, perhaps the most recognizable feature of the Pickelhaube was the ornamental front plate, which denoted the regiment's province, state, city, house, or cardboard box sitting in the alley. Some of the most common front plate designs included the eagle, the Siamese twin eagle, and the emoticon. All-metal versions of the Pickelhaube were worn by high-ranking military officials because they hoarded most of the metal that was available. This version also included a curved neck guard to prevent sunburn and to keep birds from pooping on their neck. On the neck guard there was usually a message written on it. The most common message was the phrase "Russen raus!", which was German for "Kiss my ass, Russians". In 1892, the "Pickelhaube-Cozy" — a variant of the Tea-Cozy — became standard issue for all soldiers wearing the Pickelhaube. This accessory was meant to taunt the enemy and look fabulous at the same time. It also prevented old ladies from running away at the sight of the Pickelhaube. All helmets produced for the infantry before and during World War I were made of leather or some mystery substance that felt like leather. As the war progressed, they were running out of cows to kill for their leather. Realizing this, they started to make the Pickelhaube out of other materials. Starting in 1915, they started to make the Pickelhaube out of sheet steel, pebbles, and pennies they found on the ground on their way to work. However, the German high command demanded much higher numbers of the Pickelhaube, leading to the usage of old shirts, paper, people, and cardboard boxes. Image:Kaiserhelm.jpg During World War I, it was discovered that the Pickelhaube was not all that it was cracked up to be. The leather Pickelhaube didn't do much to protect against shell fragments, and when it became stained, it could not be removed because the Pickelhaube was not machine-washable. Another slight inadequacy was that the spike stuck out over the trenches and threw insults at the opposing force, thus making it an indicator for German troop locations. At the end of World War I, they replaced the Pickelhaube with the Stahlhelm, as they felt it was "less easy to make fun of an upside down cooking pot than it was to make fun of a helmet that made the person wearing it look like a human spear". Today, the Pickelhaube is not seen all that often anymore, but they can still be bought on eBay and placed in a collection, but it still makes for a good kinky sex toy after all these years.
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