| abstract | - You know how hard it is to have to get a lip transplant? It's soooo damn difficult. First, you have to get someone either willing to give up their own lips, or someone with enough lips to share. People with two lips usually have two mouths. I don't trust those people. I would never take a lip from someone with two mouths. That's just disturbing. I was without any lips for three years, recovering in that room. The iron lip was always there, humming right next to me. I remember asking my doctor "huw duw tha iwun liw wuk?" He just smiled and patted me on the head. "I don't know. I'm just here committing a felony by impersonating a doctor." Losing my lips was no laughing matter. Stop laughing! As I was saying, I really missed my emergency lips during those three or four lonely years. Every hour, the iron lip had to be greased and updated with the latest software. Thank you, Dr. Eisensteisenstein, for creating this machine. It may have kept me awake on some of those lonely nights, but at least I had functioning lips.
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