PropertyValue
rdfs:label
  • Maxentius
rdfs:comment
  • When Maxentius (306 AD-312 AD) met Constantine on a bridge near Rome, they were not there for a romantic snog. They were in fact brothers-in-law but ones with two armies standing behind them. Maxentius was there as a the representative of 'old Rome', the city of Venus, Mars, Julius Caesar and Nero. Constantine was there with his 'Christian soldiers', painting a big white cross on their shields to fend of pagan missiles. And their patron was a guy called Jesus, a cruficied Jewish troublemaker and enemy of the Roman crew cut.
dcterms:subject
dbkwik:uncyclopedia/property/wikiPageUsesTemplate
Title
Before
  • Diocletian and Maximian
Years
  • 306
After
abstract
  • When Maxentius (306 AD-312 AD) met Constantine on a bridge near Rome, they were not there for a romantic snog. They were in fact brothers-in-law but ones with two armies standing behind them. Maxentius was there as a the representative of 'old Rome', the city of Venus, Mars, Julius Caesar and Nero. Constantine was there with his 'Christian soldiers', painting a big white cross on their shields to fend of pagan missiles. And their patron was a guy called Jesus, a cruficied Jewish troublemaker and enemy of the Roman crew cut. If Maxentius had time to ponder the irony of this conflict, he would be unable to have included it in his memoirs. Because he lost. The battle on the Milvian Bridge barely lasted a game of soccer. Maxentius tried to leave the battlefield early, got stuck in fleeing traffic and was pushed off the bridge. Golden armour is a fine outfit when leading your soldiers to battle, less so when trying to swim to safety. Rome's former playboy emperor was fished out, identified and then that head with the 5,000 solidi haircut was chopped off and stuck on a lance. So Maxentius did return back to his Roman palace, though minus his life and body.
is After of