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  • You Can't Do That On Television, Peter/Quotes
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  • :[Peter places a device, moves the handle and awooga goes the klaxon] :Peter: Uh-oh! Sounds like my cranky new neighbor just got home. I hope she don't come over here and give me a business. [knocks the table three times. He picks up a poorly designed puppet version of Lois in a high tone] Peeter! [normal tone, irritable] Oh, hi, Saggy Naggy. [high] Never mind with 'hi'! It's sounds like someone's havin' fun over here! You know I don't like that. [normal, brusquely] Hey, kids, meet Saggy Naggy. Real nice lady, huh? :Kids: Noo! :Peter: What can I do for ya, Saggy Naggy? [high, bawled] You can stop havin' fun! [normal] But we like fun...don't we, kids? :Kids: Yes! :Peter: [high, incredulous] Well, too bad, 'cause you're all gonna eat your vegetables, listen to long stories about my cousins, and how we fold sheets! [to Peter] And you! You're gonna help around the house, take out the garbage and give Stewie his bottle. [cut to Stewie on the couch in sunglasses with his cellphone] :Stewie: Yeah, I heard it...he say my name on TV all the time, calm down, bitch. ---- :Dr. Hartman: This area is known as a hallway. Don't worry you'll pick up on all the technical doctor jargon pretty soon. Hey is it "prescription" or "perscription"? :Meg: I think it's prescription. :Dr. Hartman: Prescription? That just feels weird in my mouth. Perscription is better. Oh and there's the ER, don't go in there unless you want everyone to yell at you. ---- :Brian: What do you got there? :Stewie: Oh, I'm just playing with some Lee Logs. :Brian: What the hell are Lee Logs? :Stewie: Oh, just a little something I created. Lee Logs. Robert E. Lee. You know, you got Lincoln Logs, you got Lee Logs. :Brian: I don't get it, can you build a house? :Stewie: You can build quarters. :Brian: And people live there? :Stewie: They live there if you tell 'em to live there. :Brian: I don't know if I like the idea of Lee Logs. :Stewie: Yeah, they're not selling very well. ---- :Stewie: I wonder if Mother Maggie is married to Father Fa... Oh no, probably not.
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  • You Can't Do That On Television, Peter