| abstract | - Carl: Let's see if Lil Jeet can make his friends famous, like "Al Alabama" "J.Johns", "Lil Monty", "Lil Stacy", Bu Ford", and a bunch of other losers with names that sound like I'm making them up. but I swear to God, I'm not. Carl: So, they all get a chance to prove themselves on their new song "Bedrock"! Fred Flintstone: YABBA DABBA DOO! (the Flintstone's theme song starts playing) Carl: (sarcastically) Oh, I wish. Yeah, this doesn't have anything to do with the Flintstones. It's probably some generic love jam or something. But wouldn't it be great if it did? Irving: Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock... Carl: ............ Irving: Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock... Carl:...I stand corrected. Okay, one, thanks for making the first Flintstone song since Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Doof: Yabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba do now! Carl: Second, Flintstones is a fitting reference for this song because that line is PREHISTORIC. That was old when I was TWO. You made a whole song based on the corniest pick up line ever. Way to go. Carl: Either two things happened here. They either thought it was a smooth pick-up line, or they thought it was funny. Either way, they're wrong. THEY'RE WRONG! Carl: But the chorus is there so they can connect the verses. I'm sure those are great. Take it away, Lil Jeet. Baljeet: (rapping) She got that good-good, she Michael Jackson bad... Carl: I don't see how comparing a girl to Michael Jackson is flattering, but we'll let that one slide. Baljeet: I'm attracted to her, for her attractive (bleep)... Carl: (sarcastically) Greatest rapper in the world, ladies and gentlemen. Baljeet: I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.... Carl: Wow. Take you all day to think of that one? Okay, Lil Jeet did not bring his A-game today. Either that or he's a disgustingly overrated rapper. (sarcastically) And you know that that CAN'T be true! Carl: Alright, who's next? Ferb: (rapping) I'm Ferby Ferby... Carl: ..........What? Ferb: I'm Ferby Ferby... Carl: Ferby Ferby.....That's your rap name....Ferby.......Ferby..................Sir, I can tell you're a man of class and taste named Ferby Ferby, and I can see that you're far beyond criticism, so I think I'll just skip this verse entirely. Irving: Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock... Carl: I still can't get over this. The whole foundation of this song is a line so corny that you'd think you're listening to country music. Major Monogram: (singing) I like to check you for (bleep)s, woo! Isabella: (rapping) Okay, I get it, let me see, I guess it's my turn... Carl: (sarcastically) Well, isn't this nice? I did not know that Jeremy's little sister knew how to rap! Suzy: If you have to ask, you'll never know. Carl: (while Isabella raps) This girl sounds like Candace Flynn on helium. It's really annoying. Isabella: He says "Izzy, don't stop you da bestest", I just keep coming at the top, asbestos. Carl: Okay, this needs to be addressed right now. I don't know if this is new or not, but there's something that I'm realizing in rap music, especially from the Lil Jeet camp. See this? Baljeet: I keep her running back and forth, soccer team... Carl: FORGET A COUPLE WORDS!? Annotation: I keep her running back and forth LIKE A soccer team Carl: These guys do it all the time. The words and ideas don't flow together and they just pile up in this big train wreck. Lil Jeet is the rap version of a raving insane homeless man. And that's not me saying that, that's his FANS saying that. That's what they like about him. But the weirdest example of this comes from (coughs) Ferby Ferby. Ferb: And I got her, grocery bag... Carl: ......... Ferb: And I got her, grocery bag... Carl: I've been trying to make sense of this line so long, I had to hunt down the unedited version to see if they bleeped out a few words. And it turns out, they did. Ferb: And I got her (bleep), grocery bag. Carl: I got nothing. (screen shows Phineas rapping) Carl: Now here's Phineas, who I actually like. Let's see him use his magic. Phineas: I race for your love, shake and bake, Ricky Bobby.... Carl: ......Oh....Phineas....buddy, a "Talladega Knights" reference? Nothing hotter than comparing yourself to HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ! Doof: (runs around a race track in his underwear) Help me, help me Jesus! Tom Cruise! Carl: And "shake and bake"? I can't even remember what that meant! Carl: But Phineas does recover. Phineas: Oh, that was your girl? I thought I recognized her... Annotation: Only decent line in the song. Carl: And that's more than I can for the next guy, who has the worst part in an already awful song. Django: She likes tanning, I like staying in... (skips parts) She's watching that Oxygen, I'm watching ESPN, but when that show ends... Carl: Wow. You get right to the romance after you're both done watching TV. WHAT WERE YOU GOING FOR THERE!? That's not sexy, and it's not romantic! NO ONE wants to hear the stupid details of your domestic life! Carl: The last guy on the track isn't even worth mentioning. But I realize that he's repeating cliches from earlier in the song. Buford: She know she bad... Ferb: She know she bad.... Isabella: Bad... Baljeet: Michael Jackson bad... Carl: And that raises a new question: how are we supposed to tell these guys apart!? These new guys are all BORING! The one GIRL on the track could probably get more girls than these guys! Irving: Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock.... Carl: Flintstones, Transformers. (shows Baljeet rapping in "I Can Transform Ya") Baljeet just hates my childhood memories. Irving: Call me Mr. Flinstone, I can make your bed rock... Carl: I've been focusing so much on how the chorus sucks that I forgot to mention the singer. I don't know who this Irving guy is, but he sucks. Listen to this reedy little nobody Irving: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, I can make your bed rock, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, I can make your bed rock, girl... Carl: Hey Ferby Ferby, how would you describe this guy? Ferb: (rapping) No Stevie Wonder... Carl: Right on! Carl: This is the stupidest song I've heard in quite some time. Once again, my faith in pop music has been destroyed. Which means once again, I have to kill myself. And I know the right way to do it, too. (takes out a grocery bag) Grocery bag! Ferb: (rapping) Grocery bag! Irving: (sings the chorus while Carl puts the grocery bag over his head, puffs into it, and falls to the floor).
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