| Synopsis | - After thwarting several criminals using a Boxing Glove, Lasso and scattered Marbles, Green Lantern Alan Scott forgets to reabsorb them into his ring. The three constructs, purposeless , search for the meaning of their existence in Beatnik cafes, Philosophical texts, Therapy, Church, Television, Buddhist Meditation, Popular Music and Modern Art. Still clueless, eventually they find Doctor Fate, who explains to them their reality. They see Alan Scott, their previously unknown father being carried down the street as a hero, hug, and happily fade away from their tragic existence.
- Kamandi is the leader of a band whose music has brought the unruly post-Disaster world together.
- Superman uses backwards logic to convince Bizarro to stop being a supervillain based on his own requirements of backwardness, confusing him to the point where he decides to take up gardening. Superman wishes he could just do the same thing with Mr. Mxzyptlk.
- Superman's parents find room in the last rocket from Krypton for not just their son, but their Cat, Dog, Cow, Horse, Raccoon, Pig, Rooster, Hen, Lizard, Goat, Frog, Elephant, Zebra, Sheep and Walrus. With dozens of cute caped animals flying around, Superman is considered not that big of a deal, and Clark Kent is unable to get a job at the Daily Planet, even after he reveals his secret identity. And Krypton didn't actually blow up. The El's kinda goofed.
- Ma and Pa Kent hire Letitia Lerner as a babysitter for the infant Clark, so that they might have one night to themselves. Baby Clark falls through the floor under the weight of the giant boulder holding him in his crib, climbs a giant bookshelf, swings on the ceiling fan, shatters all of the windows in the house, electrocutes himself and Letitia with the phone cord, drinks Milk directly from the cow, climbs on the roof, microwaves himself, rides away on a horse, and takes a nap in the middle of the Highway. When Ma and Pa Kent return home, they see the destruction and offer to pay Letitia double if she can work the next weekend as well.
- Doctor Sivana, dressed as a student, finds Shazam, and tricks him into revealing the name of a much stupider Marvel Creature, DUH . He then tricks Billy Batson into saying "DUH" during a robbery, and he becomes the bumbling bucktoothed goofy Captain Marvel knock-off. Sivana is thwarted when Duh says "Shazam" by coincidence. Captain Marvel then treats both the Justice League and the Justice Society to Ice Cream with his reward money.
- Tin wants a girlfriend and heads out to a club. The other Metal Men are sent to retrieve him, but become distracted as Gold and Iron blow all their money buying drinks for girls, Lead cuts a rug, Mercury becomes more fluid than usual , and Platinum tries in vain to get the attention of a pair of gay men. Meanwhile, Tin strikes out repeatedly. The Metal Men all return home dejected.
- Wonder Girl and Wonder Tot race as fast as they can to sit next to Wonder Woman at breakfast on Paradise Island, but cause so much destruction on the way that upon arrival as punishment Wonder Woman forces them to bus and clean dishes.
- In a bathtub, an Aquaman action figure attempts to save an ark full of dolls from a giant squeaky Pig.
- Supergirl pops in to a coffee shop to meet with Marvel Marvel, who's now approaching middle age and married with kids.
- Bored at home playing solitaire, Aquaman uses his powers to call the Creatures of the Deep, then repeatedly hides behind his sofa and laughs at their confusion. The third time he calls them they do not come, and when he goes out to look for them, he is eaten by a giant fish, which all of the other fish find hilarious. In the end he sadly sits in the fishes stomach and plays more solitaire.
- While him and his family are tied up by Black Manta, Aquaman refuses to ask for help from the Creatures of the Sea, because he is simply not speaking with them, having gotten in an argument. When his family prods him to call the JLA, he insists that he is not speaking to them either. The family ends up dying of starvation.
- Mxyzptlk is made the Absolute Ruler of the Fifth Dimension... about five seconds before said dimension is invaded by the obnoxious A, who demands that Mxyzptlk face him in a series of games. Reluctantly, Mxy seeks out Superman for help, but instead gets stuck with Bizarro.
- Hawkman, sworn to help all birds, investigates the theft of a Bluejay's egg. He finds it's been stolen by a Thanagarian criminal so diabolical, that he doesn't even care of the value of what he steals, just so long as he's stealing things. Hawkman catches the criminal and brings him to justice, much to the Bluejay's approval.
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